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Art Crash 2010!

Huzzah, have some Art. Each and everything below was Requested by you kind folks.  While it is true I didn't get to as many of your requests as I would have liked, I hope you're happy.  If I didn't get to your request just know that I'm keeping the ones I didn't use...really I hate that I ran out of time.  Enough words, let's have some pictures!

 Here they are in no particular order:

Our Borg Again Savior (Fighting Cthulhu)


GenCon 2010 has a theme that's all about Vampires and Fetish wear.  Here's my quick rendition of it.

Pumpkin Tree

Did you know the Dinoriders toy line had a 4th series that included a Neanderthal using a Giant Sloth as a Weapons Platform? Me neither.

Someone's Kingdom of Loathing Character

Mr. Stitchface

"Life on Snaiad" is awesome and the above is very, very true.

"I want to be a DinoRider" (Sold)

Fast Food Terrorism?

Alien Spiral

"I can do your Taxes!"

Did you know in the game Breath of Fire there's a terrible character who, besides letting you explore under the sea, is really only good at math.  I oversimplify, but really, not many games let you recruit an accountant.

Candyland Orgy

"Rotoscope a Picture of me"

(With Apologies)

Trix Rabbit

“Get a Grip on my boy racer roll bar/Such a Thrill when your radials squeal” (Sold)

A generic Beholder request turned into something horrible. I won't spell it out but the above is an amalgam of the D&D for Kids Adventure Beholder Art and the miracle of Fertilization.

Happy Birthday, 7-year-old girl who told her dad that I paint good skeletons.

ShyGuy Spirited Away

"Design a Palm Pilot Mascot"

I got a LOT of Hentai/Tentacle Oh God No requests and a friend jokingly brought over a tape of the subject material. While it's totally not my thing, I hope he doesn't mind that I painted this on the back of the box.

Depressing Fairy Tale (But Accurate)

Monsterpocalypse Maternity

Tofunicorn (Sold)

Angry Bat Hippo (Sold)

Librarian attacked by Book (Sold)

Librarian Attacked by Book #2 (Sold)

Modest Mexican Wrestler

Mortasheen's Smolderon

Black Puddy Trophy

Praying Mantis Zombie (Sold)


Ur-Quan Master

Swinging from a Flumph Chandelier (Sold)

Air Head

Witch Betrayed

Warlock Versus Paladin, Volcano Nearby

Long-Eared Rabbit

Unlucky Charms

Mortasheen's Fangatan


Shmoo (GenCon Reference, the Cool Kids will get it) (Sold)

My first D&D Character ever, which I played in 2008, was the stereotypical Half-Orc Fighter named Puppet. Well, maybe he wasn't completely stereotypical, as his back story (seen above) elaborates on the logic behind why he became the Faceless Man.

Steam-Powered Robot


"Do Something Related to Dark Sun"

Mortasheen's Crepusculent

Prison Golem filled with Pointy Things

Separately Sushi characters (Click HERE to see the Webcomic in Question) (Sold)

Vampire Dragon vomiting Spiders (Sold)

Alien Viking (Sold)

KoL Art Revisted

Pikachu Rides the Lightning

Jesus is in Your Mind

Man-Eating Poncho

Self Dissection (Sold)

King of Kobolds (Sold)


Buried Alive

Superman Punches the Moon (Sold)

Zombie Princess (Sold)

Happy Crab

The Above 5 Thumbnails were done as part of the "Draw Something Blindfolded" challenge.

It's a common request and, well, you should see the other 5 that are too terrible to share.

Gyroscopic Geisha (Sold)

Flamingo vs. Rabid Clown (Sold)

Chrono Trigger Robot

Krankenoctus Canvas Sculpture (with Monsterpocalypse figure used as reference)

Ween....thing.  I couldn't scan this because it's made of Neon Paint and Scanners don't believe in Neon. (Sold)

Chrono Trigger Sir Frog


Eloquent Zombie (Sold)

An Uncomfortable Chair

Parasitic Rat

Love Leech (Sold)

Communist Zombie (Sold)

The Monarch

Russian Doll Golem

Bluespawn Godslayer riding a Unicorn (Sold)

My Good Alignment lets me get away with Murder


Robotic Unicorn

Team Fortress 2

For Kicks, I painted an oversized Die and converted it into a "Hit Location" Die...meaning you can roll it and it'll tell you where you stabbed the bad guy.  I'm weird, I know.  (Apologies for the Out-of-Focus Above, I need to post a better picture.) (Sold)

Lemonhead's Birthday (Sold)

Hellcow (A real character from Marvel Comics) (Sold)

Two Cats (Sold)

Yet another uncomfortable chair

Mindflayer riding a Beholder (Sold)

Well, Driving, really.

Man Strangled by his own Tie combined with the request "Oscillating Fan"

Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot

Pink Octopus Playland (Sold)

Hedgehog (Sold)

Battle for the Horn

BattleBeasts (Fire Burns Wood!)

If you recognize what this picture is all about, you are a huge nerd.  Judoon & Giff love tryst indeed.

Thor, the Frog


Maxi demanded I paint a sexually tense meeting between her and Tank Girl

"The Most Bad Ass Thing I've ever done in D&D: My Warforged beating a Vampire to death with his own Coffin."

Wheedle (Sold)

Dinoriders was such a weird show.

Warrior Riding a Dinosaur, wielding another Dinosaur.

(Also, the Rider and Mount are dating now, the little guy is the Ex-Boyfriend.)

Sesame Street Cubed



Alice Cooper (and Kermit from that awesome Halloween Muppet Show episode where they met) (Sold)

Bad Moon


So there you go.  I'm tired but here's a few thoughts.  I didn't get as much done as I'd hoped but that kind of makes sense, since I did my best to still live a normal life while doing this, something I didn't care about so much for previous Art Crashes.  Beyond that I hope you enjoyed the experiment.  I said this during the process but I'll repeat it here: This Art Crash put quality over quantity.  Sure, it's still not my best stuff and a lot of it is super-cartoony but there aren't a lot of pieces that I wouldn't be proud to share, unlike previous Crashes.  The 100% Request thing is also Novel, since usually I go off on long tangents for myself on easy to paint topics (Mega Man Robot Masters, Clowns).  Oh and since this was rather spontaneous I'm going to save the Celebrity Requests and give them their own Art Crash further down the Road. Celebrities: My apologies.  It was fun to do this and it's weird how by the 4th day you really have the rhythm down and then it becomes harder to stop.  I look outside today and I feel like I've adapted to life on my couch painting.  Which is, as previously stated, kinda weird. 


PS:  I'm going to try to do the Request-heavy Art Crash once a Year, maybe even during this time of year.   I need to get back into the habit of this and it's a good way to pay you folks back for what you've done for me over the years.

One more thing again to the folks that didn't get their Request: I drew a LOT more than what you see here.  There's a Cthulhu Duck, a Hyper Watercolor Joker, a Fairy who was meant to be made of dead butterflies, lots of stuff (I may post the list)...that just had to be shelved thanks to lack of time.  Remember that Quality over Quantity thing? I meant it.  Some of your Requests required too much time and I didn't want to do a Half-Ass Job.  Also a few of them required a little too much research...which is a little bit my fault.  I just don't have time to read a Manga comic in the middle of the marathon and I didn't think of doing so before things went underway. But I digress; the paintings will show up later on the Strange Art page further down the road.


Old stuff about the Art Crash, somewhat interesting, somewhat recording my decent to madness.

Monday, 7PM:  Have another Preview as I scramble to finish up the Crash.

Technically this was my idea but after mentioning it on a forum I forgot about it.
One kind Monsterpocalypse player reminded me and, well, here you go.

Monday, 10AM:  I've learned a lot about how I work these days...and the terrible thing about big Art Crashes is that they take a few days to really get into the rhythm of them.  Problem is, I have other crap to do.  I'll be wrapping up the Art Crash a day late because as of this morning I still have about 40 pieces to touch-up.  It's do-able, but a big part of this Art Crash was proving to myself I could do this and NOT destroy myself in the process.  Sleep, I choose you. (It's Super-Effective)

In the meantime, here's one request: "AirHead"

I've got a lot of scanning to do, so keep your eyes peeled.  Sometime between later tonight and Tuesday afternoon I plan on posting up everything.  Right now I think the total is a low 120 paintings, but really, I haven't counted for a few days now.  See you soon!


Sunday at some ungodly early hour: Lots of stuff getting ready for Monday Night's sharing of all things Art Crash.  No time to scan much, so here's 2 that were done a few days ago.


Friday...um....Ok fine it's Saturday 5am:  I'm too tired to write clever things.  Need to sleep because I can't work anymore.  Here's a preview of the doom to come over the weekend:


Thursday 11pm: Despite some things distracting me yesterday, we have hit the doom that is Phase 3.  What is Phase 3 you ask?  All my inking is done and things start getting finishing rapid fire one after the other.  Need some Proof?

Can you see your request? I know I can.


Wednesday 11am: I've got 109 Requests Drawn and I'm just inking/splatter painting like a fiend.  Most likely won't have much to show until late tonight or early tomorrow, so please enjoy a sketch of a Gyroscopic Geisha, as Requested.

Tuesday 9pm: I'm doing this differently this year....instead of finishing one after the other, I'm drawing EVERYTHING (or at least the 100 piece minimum) followed by general inking, painting, gluing dead bugs to them, or whatever they may need.  So not much to share yet, but right now about 30 Hours into the Crash I have more than 80 of your requests done.  As such, here's something to tide you over until tomorrow/later tonight:

PS: The reason I put the Twitter Link on this page is that while I'm not proud of my habitual use of the damn thing, it is the easiest and fastest way to share stuff when time is of the essence.  Just saying....the news about the Crash is Fresher there because it doesn't take me the extra few minutes to edit the website.   Ack, even this text has gotten too long, gotta run! :dives back into the fray:

Monday 8pm:  Taking a Short Break (been drawing/sketching most of the day) and figured I'd share one of stranger things I was challenged to do.

  Click the Thumbnail to see how well I draw with my eyes closed.  Those are the "Best" 4, I'll admit.  The other 3 didn't...well, even when you draw by touch mistakes can happen.  And yes, I cheated by doing gray shading with my eyes open.  I'm a cheater, but still happy with how these came out.  That said, back to work!




I'll try to keep this simple.  I haven't done an official Art Crash for about 4 years.  As such, my audience (you guys & girls) has mutated and grown and a significant number of you don't even know what an Art Crash IS.  An Art Crash is a painting marathon that ends when I pretty much fall over and can't paint any more.  They've evolved over the years, sometimes being one project (Dangerous Delves or "Jerome is Special") to just being totally psychotic and painting everything you guys request for 300 hours with minimal sleep.  (Scroll Down to see some examples of Past Art Crashes, including the infamous Tequila Art Smash.)  Anyway, so here's the deal:

On June 14th I'm going to start Painting. 

When will I stop?  Not until at least a week's gone by, I know that much.

I'd do it sooner but I'm still getting organized and I don't have enough Celebrity Requests Yet. (Yes, in previous Art Crashes I've gotten requests from the MST3k Crew, American McGee, Joe Bob Briggs, Scott McCloud, Christopher Moore, Terry Pratchett's Lawyer and the like and I hope to do so again.)  Update: Crapsticks, I forgot to do this and it's too late.  Next time guys, I swear.

What will I be painting?

Anything.  Just like previous Art Crashes, I'll do my best to paint as many of the Requests I get as possible.  In 2006 I received over 500 of them and I was able to knock out 314 of them, so I do have a bit of a work ethic when it comes to psycho painting marathons.


You can email them to me at Jared@Headinjurytheater.com, just remember to include "Art Crash" somewhere in the subject line.  (Twitter works too, if one is so inclined to Twit.) I'll post all the Requests here at the End of each Day so you too can see the horrors that lie before me and, in turn, you as well.  They'll go right here, so if you're morbidly curious check back every now and then.  Oh and when I start posting paintings, that'll go here as well, so um...keep watching this space?


How much will I be painting?

Well, in previous years I've tried to do one painting an hour.  Problem is I have higher standards now and, well, yeah.  I'm being a bit more relaxed this time around...saying that by the end of the Crash I'll have somewhere between 100 and 200 of your requests painted.  Bad by my old standards but still pretty good, right?

Oh, the $ issue.  No, if you request something you don't have to buy it.  In fact, I often offer anything and everything I paint at some sort of insanely low price.  So if you see something you like you CAN buy it on the cheap but you don't have to.  If you've been wanting to see me paint one of your ideas but don't want to dish out the coin, this'll be your  chance.


When I started this, my goal was to paint as much as possible and get Art to folks as easily as possible.  While my rates have gone up over the years, I still want to get back to my roots and that's why I'm officially announcing that anything painted as part of this Art Crash will be for sale at the price of $25.  That's embarrassingly low for me, literally 1/3 or 1/4th what I get for my average painting these days.  As such, and please take note: This Price Will Only Be Available from the moment the Art Crash Starts and will no longer be available after June 28th.  So remember, if I don't get an email from you asking about a particular piece, then my normal rates apply.  Think of it as a Creative Clearance Sale.  :sigh: God I hate talking about money.  Point is, this Art Crash is to whip me into shape and serves the dual purpose of also letting a lot of folks buy stuff who, well, couldn't usually swing it.  Yes, I'm looking at you Ramen-Eating College kid who keeps sending me emails that end with frowning emoticons.

(Oh and it's $8 shipping anywhere in the World.  The Joys of the German Post Office.)

A word of Warning: Remember, this whole thing is an Art Experiment.  If you like something you see, that's great but don't expect every piece created during the Crash to be up to my normal standards.  I say this because someone is already asking if they can commission me for my Art Crash prices.  No, so very, very no.  I'll take requests, but what I do with them is up to the whims of my diseased brain.  Also, know that I can't paint anything associated with any of the secret projects that I've been working on.  They're secret so I can't, well, tell you what not to request, but if your request isn't listed below, that might be a hint.  Maybe.

And there you go.  Scroll Down to see previous Art Crashes, just to get an idea about the horror lurking on the horizon.  See you guys soon and know that if the Art Crash kills me, you'll have played a part in it.  You can't beat that, really.


"who is doing this (in part) to make up for all the Secret Projects he's been working on that means no new Art for you boys & girls"


REQUESTS Received as of June 14th!  (List will no longer Update as organizing stuff takes too much time when I'll be painting.  Feel Free to Email me your requests all the same.)

Robot Unicorn Attack

My Lemon is 1 year Old

Black Pudding Trophy

Frankenstein goes Bollywood

“Draw Something Blindfolded”

Pink Octopus

“Paint something surreally aquatic, preferably with a pink octopus included somewhere” (Unrelated to previous request, I swear)

What Happens after the Final Struggle Between Good and Evil

The Final Struggle Between Good & Evil (This is what Happens when you accept requests on a Forum)

Jared I still have your Business Card

Bowl of Milk with Monster

Dyslexic Ponies at a Letter Juggling Spelling Bee

Boognish Rising up the Hill

Draw what you are thinking of right now (Now?  It’s a Killer Oscillating Fan.)

“Oh God the Rats…draw your Screen Name in the flesh”

Something Infinitely Recursive

Wolves on a Space Station

“Paint a famous painter from anywhere in history painting Sesame Street fanart”

Utter Bliss

Freakazoid (or Maybe Candlejack, he smells like poo gas)

Dark Crystal

This guy versus a Pokemon

Zombie Children or even maybe Undead Babies

“Paint me some Bogleech Mortasheen, Bitch!”

“Cyborg Jesus katana fighting Cthulhu in the mushroom kingdom with catgirls and ninja chupacabras fighting in the backround. Also work in the killer rabbit from Monty Python.”

Person Dissecting Themselves

Something to do with Strangulation  (Can you guess that the last 2 came from the same person?)

“Boognish Painting…Ween demands it!”

Dragons in Spaaaaaaaaaace!

A warrior riding a dinosaur, wielding a smaller dinosaur

Narwhal versus Unicorn: Battle for Hornal Supremacy

Deadpool making sweet Love to an Ankh

Bluespawn Godslayer riding a Unicorn in the Feywild

“What does the D&D Twitter Hive Mind look like”

“A female fighter bench-pressing a boar as part of a skill challenge with three ghosts looking on in disapproval (she failed).”

Vagina Dentata (from the movie Teeth! Oh No!)

The Monarch

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (Mike forever!)

Brock Samson vs. Wolverine

Weasels from Wind in the Willows  (Not Roger Rabbit?)

Yog-Sothoth at a DEVO Concert

2 Giant Squids in a Chainsaw Fight in Atlantis

“Godzilla vs. the Millennium Falcon (maybe with the Crab from Jerome is Special in there?)”

Orangutan from Discworld

Something Opera Related, maybe Willy Loman horror?

“Sexy, Shoeless, God of War (as in OOTS)”  (Dear God I’m almost afraid to Google “Oots” (rhymes with Poots and Woots) to find out what you’re referring to. )

Ged from Wizard of Earthsea battling his shadow

What went n in the Bag of Dragon Figurines from Goblet of Fire

Changeling: The Lost

Visual Puns for Bird Brain, Garden hose, and/or French Fries

Phantom of the Opera: Fetish Masks

Zombie Giraffe Baby

Zombie with mutated praying mantis arms

Cow with Bell & Bazooka shooting a flying saucer

“Marilyn Manson is my life coach in Dreams”

“Why you should exercise caution when stealing bags of holding. (for the record, my brother's got a half-orc barbarian princess who carries five dead men, four dead women, two dead children, three dead cats and thirteen human skulls in a bag of holding, but I'm sure you could store a variety of other horrors in there too if so inclined.)”

Candyland Orgy (I say, I seem to be stuck in the Chocolate Swamp, Oh no!)

Man Scared of Oven

“A tall skinny young man sitting across a royalty chair. He wears a scruffy beard and a twisted, pointy mustaches. He is surrounded by gold and is drinking from a flask.”

Ghost of M. Jackson

The Abyss Also Gazes Into You

Mechagodzilla, non-sexual

Death Machine! The Movie!

“If Jared designed a Catgirl, what would it look like?”

The Geist Enemies from Bullet Witch

Doctor Franken Stein from Soul Eater

Doctor Carnage

Something BLUE

The First Word that pops into your head after reading this Prompt.  (Which was Deep)

Lemon Demon, the Band or Monster?

Brain Blessed

Alisia Dragoon, an obscure Genesis Game

That Guy with Glasses (Steven Hawking?)

Old Freddy vs New Freddy

Voltaire, the Man

“Two fictional characters of mine. One's a pale 6'2" brunet dressed in a Rock/Horror T-Shirt, goggles, finergless gloves, pants and a white Trench Coat; part cyberpunk overlord, part creepy stalker, part egomaniac DM. (Lawful Evil) The other's a 5'10", one-eyed magic-user with a bad nineties goatee, usually sporting a dark suit. Generally just loves "messing poop" up and other troublemaking. (Chaotic Neutral) They hate each other's guts.”

A guy riding a Flumph in Combat

Oil Leak off the Gulf Coast being Clogged by Dagon/Releasing Lovecraftian Horrors upon the World

Maniacal Toast threatening Crazy Butter with Insane Knife

Tankgirl & a Friend of mine killing heteronormativity in a playful way but with sexual tension (Dear Maxi, I am afraid to paint your comic book-themed sexual fantasies)

H.P. Lovecraft, Cyborg

The Tall Man, from Phantasm

“Is my color blue the same as your color blue?”

Techno Pygmies

Vampire Dragon who vomits Rats & Spiders who are also Vampires

“as seen from above football (soccer) players playing 'tonsil' hockey in a stadium where the crowd are rows of teeth akin to those of the coneheads at the dentist... if you get what i mean”


Ichigo at the Salon getting his hair dyed next to Naruto

Babies putting Gummybears in a Blender (Screaming here and there and everywhere)

“superman triping on his cape and falling into batmans crotch face first and slapping wonderwomens breast as robin screams in horror in the back ground..”

Gay Mafia (Which was actually an Antagonist Group in a Game I ran back in 2003)

File Cabinet of Doom

Russia as the Red-Headed Stepchild of Europe (A Request, not Jared’s opinion, I swear)

Hitler, Napoleon, & Nero Playing Rock Paper Scissors

Room full of Happy Thoughts surrounded by an army of Post-Its

“cinderella taking on snow white with hitori hanzo swords in the mix, like that scene from kill bill in the snow with O-Ren Ishii.”

Gambit being murdered by Antropomorphic Playing Cards

Vader & Luke holding hands skipping through a field of Sheep

Fan Art for my friend Adam’s Webcomic

Gigan, Destroyah, & Orga vs Deadpool riding on Mothra’s Back while Godzilla eats a bucket of Popcorn

Love Leech

The Piggyness

Billy the Squid

Vampire Squid

Mouse Biology Unit


Tribute to “ET the Porno” (Sweet God NOOOOOOOOOO)

“Life on the Snaiad”

Fashionable Zombies having Tea

Eatus Fetus

“Grenades Tied to Babes” (A Song my older woman sings)

Burlesque Dancer


Picture of the Band Queen, from the Bohemian Rhapsody Video

Canadian Flag saluted by Jim Carey

Phantom guy from Spirited Away

Marilyn Manson (the man, not the album cover?)

“A giant laser dinosaur bunny dressed up like Yoda wielding a snake in a giraffe mask destroying a mega-hotel in Amsterdam.”

Cthulhu vs. Jack Bauer w/ Little Shop of Horrors (somehow)

Cannibal Cow-Monkeys

Penguin Lust

Illustrate 2 lines from a Song: “Get a Grip on my boy racer roll bar” & “Such a Thrill when your radials squeal”

Possum with a Ph.D

Colonel Bat Guano

Slim Pickens as Major King Kong riding on a Falling Atomic Bomb. Yee. Haw.

Girl Seeking Boy, Hairstyle does not matter

Get Well Picture for your DM

A Feline Geordi la Forge


Springheeled Jack, The Owlman

Jack the Ripper

Batman/Captain America are dead but not Dead & their sidekicks have taken over.

Roland from the Tower Series

Thomas Moran’s Child Roland to the Dark Tower Came, which Inspired Stevie King

Paint my Kitten, Constable Felix McKyten fighting Zombies

“For Me:  it is quite simply a skull (no mandible) elongated canines (of course) the skull would be in side of a square turned on its end so a diamond basicaly

as for details perhaps a crack or two in or around the eye sockets”

Gigan with freaking Chainsaw Hands

Rotoscope Alex

Paintball Game

Giff from Spelljammer vs the Judoon from Dr. Who

Dog Stalked by Cat People

Tallahassee from ZombieLand

Cannibal Top Chef

The Corinthian from Sandman meets that bastard from Pan’s Labyrinth

A Tzimisce from Vampire the Masquerade

“My D&D character: an alcoholic, perverted, beardless, sex crazed dwarven invoker of Bahamut who threatens his other members of his party with his "impliment" (it's a +1 rod! what?). “

Redneck anthropomorphic pink bunny gun nut

The Devil does Drag.  Al Gore Likes it.

It’s not easy being Fuchsia

Popcorn Colonel

Venetian Blinds

A Steam Shovel

Evil Weeds attacking a Gardner (Not DVD Boxed Sets)

Flying Spaghetti Monster

“Half a Werewolf. Like, one arm is transformed, and he got pointy, furry ears, but the rest is more or less human.”

Ouroboros Yoga Class Advertisement (2nd World Serpent request!)

Bear Vs. Gorilla Round 2

Dethklok from Metalocalypse

Robot Time-Traveler Playing Cards with Lincoln, Churchill, Karl Marx…Marx is winning.  (PS: Robot cannot be Data from that one Holodeck episode of Star Trek involving Poker)

Requiem for a Dream

Blade Runner (Robots love Pigeons)

Book Eating a Librarian

The following Requests with a “!” after them are all from one person and one email. Oh my.  (PS: The Email is only 4 sentences long)

Spike from Cowboy Bebop fighting Vicious !

The Secret of NiHM Anything!

Planet Terror anything!

American Psycho anything!

Archimedes Merlin’s Owl!

Wile E. Coyote eating the Roadrunner!

Poster boy of Fallout, make a Fallout painting!

Dr. Strangelove Anything!

“How bout the Monopoly man playing Risk, or Snap, Crackle, and Pop fighting Tony the Tiger fighting the Trix rabbit fighting Lucky, of Lucky Charms fame, fighting The CoCo Puffs Bird fighting Count Chocula fighting the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee” !

Twin Peaks Anything!


Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh commits suicide!

Paint the most delicious Sandwich you’ve ever eaten!

The Count from Sesame Street feats on 2, 2, Children Ah, Ah, Ah. !

Most Badass Moment of D&D Career:  Warforged beating a Vampire to death with his own coffin.

“D&D character: His name is Kamenai and he is a Tiefling (Specifically, a descendent of blue Abshai) cleric of Bahamut (Long story on why he isn't a Tiamat worshipper), good-aligned, wears leather armor, and carries a bastard sword and a +2 Symbol of Life.”

Froghemoth (pronounced via the Sephiroth Choir Frog-He-MOTH!)

“A Picture of your next Article/Movie Review because your fans are sick of Art taking priority over your writing.”

Medusa Vs. Chihuahua

WH4K Space Marines (Any Chapter besides Chaos)

Kobolds on a Plane

Ender throwing Yuber into a Tree (Characters, don’t ask)

Spartan Defense, a Government Defense Agency, wants something in their Break Room

Parasitic Rat

Man Attacked by NeckTie

Combine Elite

Radioactive Superhero

Impractical Chair

Steam-Powered Robot

Hero wielding Blender

Caveman Ghoul

Depressing Fairy Tale

Cosmic Horrors Playing Poker

Traveling City

Victorian Woman

Vicious Tree

Werewolf Vs. Zombies (Arggh, he’s burying us in the backyard….brains!)

Alien Vikings

Greek Pantheon

Rock Em Sock Em Robots


Lithium is Candy

“I'd like to see an anthropomorphic rabbit-girl (maybe 8 years old or so, white fur, blue eyes, adorable, white and blue clothing) sitting on the shoulder/upper-arm of a normal human man (about 20 years old, black hair, caucasian but slightly tanned). And alot of characters in anthro art have both fur *and* hair, but I'd like the girl to only have the fur.”

David Wants me to paint Josh.  Embarrassment and Shame will Ensues.

Cyborg ManPig, also known as Cy-Boar

Cthulhu The Duck

Zombie Bears

Dire Dwarf Unicorn Prison Golem

Zombie Were-prechaun-pire.  To clarify: A Leprechaun Bitten by a Werewolf, who gets bitten by a Vampire.

Goku from Dragon Ball Z

Shmoo, the Unstoppable

Genitalia (the answer is No, but this list must be complete)

Gyroscopic Geisha

Favorite Comic Character

Least Favorite Comic Character

Your 1st D&D Character

The Snakes Eating their Own Tail thing

flying pikachu



“My Tabletop character Ragnhilder (Raggy) lifting a skeleton Knight over her head:  Raggy is about 6 feet tall, pale, has dirty robes on, an acid
resisting cape/belt combo, a headband, an axe, has long scraggly ice
blue hair, and is an ex-gladiator/wrestler/entertainment slave.”

Buddha vs. God

“Something from Chrono Trigger or Breast of Fire 2” (typo mine, but I’m amused so I leave it.)

Glenn Beck Vs. T-rex

Mutant Twitter Bird

Russian Doll Golem

“Yo Muthaship So Fat” (O_O)

Superman: Dictator for Life

Rabid Clown mauling a Flamingo

Ahiru from Princess Tutu and Haruhi from Ouran High School Host Club, dancing a waltz.  One’s a girl in disquise and the other’s a duck.  Holy bejeezus.

Anything from Uzumaki

The Death of Rats, from Discworld

“Paint my friend and I as a warlock/Necromancer (in red) and a Paladin (white steel) dueling on a mountantop?

Draw my Kitties, Mr. Peanut & Don Juan.

Y’s Daughter as a Zombie Princess

“Illustrate something based on my D&D Horror Stories”

 Mr. Mascaro (Link)


Pumpkin Tree


“Something from Star Control 2/The Ur-quan Masters” (?)

Sakura Taisen (or Sakura Wars)

King of the Kobolds (Not Meepo)

Zombie Communists (Actually, I ran a came of “It came from the Late, Late, Late Show called “Commie Zombie Siss-boom-bah!” about Communist Zombie Cheerleaders.  Fun Times)

Gelatinous Cube Apocalypse

Witch murdered by her own Broom

Accordion Thief assaulted by Ninjas (KoL)

Paint Stitchface, a City of Villains character.

Paint Dan on a Dinorider.  (Dan writes amazingly colorful emails.  Just saying.)

Abraham Lincoln riding a Penny Farthing mowing down zombies with an AK47

Winged Hippo

Alice Cooper

Black & White Not-Too-Creepy Picture of Sara playing the Clarinet.

Fast Food Invented by Terrorists


Weirdest Fetish you can think of, illustrated.  (For future reference, please don’t try to tax my imagination.  If you haven’t noticed my brain goes to weird places.)

“a HR Giger xenomorph (the movie Alien/s) extending its signature mouth-within-a-mouth thing, except the smaller mouth would have third, smaller one inside of it as well.  This would go on for a few iterations (like Russian dolls, or perhaps those overly-intricate trumpets from a Doctor Seuss book), and the last and smallest mouth would be holding out a bright red flower in offering.”

The Naughty Sorceress & Ed the Undying tag teaming Boris, Jarlsberg, & Sneaky Pete

“Tomorrow my party fights a vampire dragon that vomits up red flesh-eating acidic spiders as his breath weapon. That'd make a fun visual.”

"Paint yourself being Microwaved"

....and that's it for now. 


Until next time, here are some older Art Crashes:



Like Art Crashes?  Click Below to see many more mutations on the theme.


You scrolled all the way down to the bottom?  For that, have another reason to buy something:



Copyright 2008 Jared von Hindman or maybe just Jared Hindman.  It depends.  Any images used that are not Jared's are used via Fair Use review purposes and belong to their respective owners....who are nice people that don't want to sue me.

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