Not every episode is worth a deep look.  If you're a huge fan of the show, I would apologize except I've probably offended you already.  Well, let's begin. 

Episode 1 (sort of):  Final Exam:

Here's the Teen Titan premiere episode. Technically, it's the third episode, but the Cartoon Network decided to air it first, so it's really up to whoever to determine what the first episode is.  Basically, another group of EVIL super-teens is hired to get rid of the Teen Titans.  These kids work for The Hive, who's leader is apparently Murphy Brown (sounds and looks just like her).  The evil kids include a witch named Jinx, a giant and generic "strong guy" named Mammoth (who is voiced by the same guy who played Goro in Mortal Kombat, oddly enough), and the most amazing villain of the series: Gizmo.  Gizmo is a preschooler with, well, lots of gizmos.  He makes up his own curse words and will even FART on the heroes.  There's just something magical about an evil 6-year-old.  Apparently, I'm not the only one that thinks this, as the little bastard appears in 3 other episodes.  By the way, since the Hive kids take over the Titan Tower, they plan to turn it into a big H.  It's so weird how obsessed these people are with phonetic architecture.  Anyway, it's a good introductory episode in that you find out a bit about everyone's powers and get to see the anime/Americana style in action.  The first few episodes are kind-of off in that they have to do with the Teen Titans breaking up, or not being around anymore.  Kind of a weak plot thread when your cartoon series is only a week or so old.  But I digress.

Episode 2: Sisters

Starfire, the alien girl, has an alien sister who is evil.  That's pretty much the plot.  There's stolen alien diamonds and a sub-plot dealing with both alien girls having a crush on Robin.  It makes sense, because he is the only non-green and non-cyborg male around. Oh, and alien cops and alien martial arts. Alien, Alien, Alien.

Episode 3: Divide & Conquer

Yet another "this is the end of the Teen Titans" episode, this one has to do with Robin pissing off Cyborg until he quits the team.  Of course it all works out well in the end, but there are two points of note in this episode:  Firstly, the plot revolves around freeing an evil mutant named Plasmus from jail.  A giant concrete robot (named Cinderblock...how creative) breaks into prison to get Plasmus out.  In the process, all the "normal" prisoners are let out of their cells.  Running for freedom, they celebrate their luck.  The Teen Titans actually let the giant robot and the mutant escape to make sure they catch all the "normal" escapees.  Man, I would feel completely screwed if superheroes were trying to stop my jailbreak.  I can just imagine what they'd say while being carted back..."Look! The mutant freak is right over there! I'm here for tax fraud...he's got Acidic Blood and he's off to eat nuns! What is wrong with you?"  I'm guessing that supervillains are much more of a threat than normal prisoners, but then again maybe the Titans just needed to feel good about themselves and took on some easy opponents.  The second interesting thing about this episode is Plasmus himself.  When you see him in prison, he's asleep, floating in tank of some sort.  When he wakes up he starts freaking out.  Apparently he's completely normal when he's asleep, but a horrible puss-dripping mutant whenever he's awake.  What kind of screwed up sleep disorder is that? 

Episode 4:  Forces of Nature.

Characters straight out of Japanese anime show up.  Thunder and Lightning (which are Gods or something) are tricked by an old Japanese man into creating a fire monster.  What's much more interesting is Beast Boy's trick to win the hearts of ladies:  He turns into the cutest kitten ever.  My god.  As in so cute you forget the fact that it's radioactive green.  Man, he's got to have a weird sex life.  Personally, I think it might be weirder for whoever Beast Boy's partner is.  Ick.  I'm sure he's some Furry's dream date. :shudder:  Let's move on.

Episode 5: Sum of His Parts

Here's one of the better, weirder episodes.  It's completely schizophrenic.  What starts off as a day in the park playing football turns into something really strange.  Something interesting to note is that the characters are NEVER out of costume.  They go to the park, the movies, out for pizza in full "I'm a superhero" gear.  Don't they ever have off days?  During the football game, Cyborg's battery dies, and he's got to get home to replace it.  Suddenly, they need to go fight the AMAZING MUMBO!  The Amazing Mumbo is a stage magician who apparently has powers related to being a Looney Toon cartoon character.  Anyway, Cyborg's battery dies and he gets sort-of kidnapped by an evil robot-like guy named Fix-it who lives under the garbage dump.  From here on the episode is completely schizophrenic:  Half of it has goofy happy lounge music as the other Titans chase after a zany Mumbo in a loony adventure, while the other half is Cyborg strapped to a table being told how he must be repaired and have his soul removed.  So, let's just compare Mumbo and Fix-it's lines and you tell me if the episode is schizophrenic.

Mumbo: Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!  tee-hee! Mumbo Jumbo! Open Says-Me!

Fix-it: Your flesh is imperfect. It must be removed.

Mumbo:  It's only fair to warn you (woman in box about to be sawed in half) I have no idea what I'm doing.  hahaahaah! Exit, stage left!

Fix-it:  There is no cause for alarm. Repairs are needed. Repairs WILL be done. Rest. It is FOR THE BEST. Now.

Mumbo:  Hocus Pocus! You'll never stop the Amazing Mumbo! Never! Abracadabra--Huzzah!

Fix-it:  Do not resist. It is for the BEST.  Your memories will be downloaded into your new brain. It is for the BEST.

So it's a pretty strange episode being both kind of spooky as well as really goofy and zany.  In the end, Cyborg convinces Fix-it to play football/see the world as he's apparently out of touch with humanity.  He's FAR too forgiving about the whole "I will cut off your flesh---It is for the BEST" thing.

Episode 6: Nevermore

An amazing episode, only due to the first line in it: "No one can escape the Brilliance of Dr. LIGHT!"  I love this show for all the goofy villains.  Where else do you get to see a man with a light bulb logo on his chest try to be threatening?  This episode is really about Raven, who completely freaks out and swallows Dr. Light's soul (or something).  Cyborg and Beastboy end up getting stuck in Raven's psyche and meet her inner fears.  Apparently, she was abused as a kid and her father appears as a demon in a loincloth.  Very surreal.

Episode 7:  Switched

An evil puppet shows up and takes control of Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Robin by putting their souls in wooden puppets. Raven and Starfire end up getting stuck in each other's bodies.  There's a bit of the Freaky Friday/TwistedTuesday/ManicMonday/etc humor as they have to use each other's powers.  The guys of the team are all the Puppet King's zombies and it's actually kind of cool seeing how wicked our heros look as drooling monsters.  We also find out that Starfire is a hippy because she has to be: Her power only works if she feels unbridled joy, the ecstacy of being one with nature, etc.  It soooo explains why she's always happy.  I'd force myself to smile too if it let me shoot bolts of death at people.

Episode 8:  Deep Six.

This episode was really, really bad.  So bad I deny it's existence. Though, if it were to exist, I would point out the appearance of "Aqualad."  I can only guess that this is a kid version of "Aquaman", potentially the most mocked superhero ever in the history of comics.  Junior versions of superheroes generally suck.  That said, there is a distinct chance that, like Robin, all of the Titans were someone's sidekick at some point. Oh well. Back to Aqualad...apparently he's an Atlantean.  All his powers, such as talking to fish and swimming really fast, are possessed by everyone that lives under the sea.  Man, that just makes Aquaman seem so much more lame.  He was probably an accountant or McDonald's manager in Atlantis and decided he wanted something more. So he makes a costume and goes to the surface world as "Aquaman...the Superhero!"  I'm sure he wasn't going to tell everyone that where he comes from he's nothing special.  Then again, the reason he's the only Atlantean to go the hero route is probably because everyone else in Atlantis knows their powers suck.  Aquaman's just in denial.  Aqualad...He's going through a phase. He'll take off the costume sometime and get a real job.

Episode 9: Masks (or How Robin got cool for about Ten Minutes)

Robin decides to become a bad guy to trick Slade (mastermind plot bad-guy) without telling his teammates.  Now, Robin has a terrible costume and a terrible name.  Then, he shows up as Red X...who is so infinitely hardcore. Seriously...watching a Red X fight scene with death metal, or even just Sisters of Mercy, playing in the background is a spiritual experience.  Red X turns invisible, fires bloody X's of death, and has a cool costume.  Robin apparently has a brooding cool gothic guy lurking inside him.  Slade figures out that Robin is Red X, forcing Robin to change his clothes between takes.  I love comic book wardrobe changes.  It's the whole Clark Kent ALWAYS has his Superman cape with him and his tight underneath his business suit.  Point is, Robin could be cool...he just chooses not to be. Just so you know, every time Red X is on the screen, the music changes to a dark rock theme. There needs to be more Red X in the world. Sorry, Robin, you could be awesome, but you still suck.

Episode 10: Mad Mod

An Austin Powers-esque British bad guy kidnaps the Titans and puts them through a trippy adventure.  Basically, an episode that exists to showcase optical illusions and weird British slang ("Hello my tossing Duckies!), Mad Mod (also the name of the villain) has an authentic "Scooby Doo" musical chase scene.  This episode is great, though more surreal than usual.

Episodes 11 & 12 (Apprentice Part 1 and 2)

These are the two "only plot" episodes this season, as Slade (the villain mentioned earlier) blackmails Robin, forcing Robin to turn to the Dark Side.  While the Luke Skywalker jokes could be really easy to make here, I'm trying to resist.  Robin kicks all his teammate's butts (something that actually happens more than once) and gets a better costume out of the deal.  It's the same as Luke.  Who looked cooler, Homeless bum Obiwan or Dark Warlord Darth Vader?  Evil just gets the cool wardrobe.  Of course, this rule is flexible in a show like this...as a fat guy dressed as a Klingon is the antagonist in Season 2.  I only wish I were joking.  Suffice to say, good wins and Robin is still a psycho.  Let's move on, shall we?

Episode 13: Car Trouble

One of the weirder episodes, this one seems more like a cartoony version of Grease than anything from a comic book.  Quick Plot rundown: Cyborg makes a car. Titans fight an electrical monster named Overload.  Car is stolen by two guys that look like they're from the 1950's.  Guys take super-car to drag race and end up racing against Gizmo (the evil 6-year-old) in a remote controlled car.  Gizmo steals car and ends up farting on Cyborg to make him let go of it.  Electrical Monster infects car, forcing Cyborg to destroy his own super-car.  Why is this a great episode?  Watching someone being excited about being destroyed by their own invention is awesome to see.  That and all the music is 1950's racing rock music. Who drag races these days?  Where is there a drive-in Diner where kids with leather jackets and big hair hang out to show off their sweet cars?  It's like Back-to-the-Future meets Teen Titans. Very surreal.  Oh, and Gizmo farts on Cyborg. Yay.

Well, that's season one. Pretty strange right?  Season Two is sooooo much stranger...Get ready for the Prom, an evil Klingon, and online gaming from Hell!

Season Two!

I hate the Titans now! You suck! Take me Home!