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I swore I wouldn't do it again.  It was such a bad idea that it could almost pass as a good one.  I am, of course, talking about Art Smash Tequila.  For those of you who missed it, what that entails is that I do a shot of tequila, paint something, and then repeat the process until I cannot paint any more....or I run out of Tequila.  Me and Tequila have a weird relationship with one another.  I hate it, but it doesn't affect me as much as it should.  I talked about that far too much when the last Art Smash happened...if you missed it make sure to check out the link at the bottom of this page.  Either tequila doesn't affect me properly or my creativity cells dull the pain involved in doing over a dozen shots of tequila in a short period of time. 

Warning:  Drinking is very bad for you, kids.  Don't do it.  Also, don't sue me if you try something similar and it doesn't go as you planned.  I would say that I'm a professional, but when that would literally mean "I am a professional drunk painter" I don't know if I really want those words attached to me. 

The theme for this Art Smash was taken out of a hat filled with suggestions from people who read the site.  So you really can't blame me for the whole "Clown" theme you're about to get over-exposed to.  And by over-exposed, I mean that.  Let's dive in.

Shot #1:  Why Aren't you Laughing?

Shot #2:  Chatter-Clown

Shot #3:  Jack-in-the-Brain

Shot #4:  The Red Death

It's a Phantom of the Opera reference.  And yes, technically a Clown.

Shot #5:  Tequila Clown

Shot #6:  Laughing Jester

Shot #7:  Mottled Entertainer

Shot #8:  Mime-in-a-Box

Mimes count as clowns, right?

Shot #9:  Visit to the Clown Museum

By the way, did you know that the official clown museum has a room filled with eggs that are painted to look like clowns?  Apparently this is how Clowns copyright their make-up or something.  I don't know about you, but that sounds like one freaky horrible room to me.

Shot #10:  And in the center ring...

At this point in time, someone pointed out something about my Art Smash:  If I took enough time on a painting (like ones with full colour, ink, and needing clean-up afterwards like the one above), I would actually do a decent job of sobering up by the time the next shot came around.  So, me being ten shots deep into a drunk art marathon, I said:  "Really?  Then I guess I'll just have to keep to ink paintings.  Some of those only take a few minutes to do."

Worst.  Decision.  Of the Night.

From here on out it's a roller-coaster ride to oblivion, as my speed-painting turned into speed-drinking and my immunity to Tequila withered away faster than my musical career.

Shot #11:  Infernal Harlequin

Hmm.  This isn't bad.  I might even do this sober.  Maybe I was exaggerating. 

Shot #12:  Open Me.

Shot #13:  It Pays to Advertise

Shot #14:  Try to ignore it.

There is a huge jump in...."style"...between this one and the next.  I think it has something to do with how fast I was painting these and the time-delay involving the Tequila hitting my brain.  So while these came out "sane", if you will, what follows... Oh my.

Shot #15:  Drunken Jared does not know that Frankenstein has nothing to do with clowns.

I wish I could explain why, in the middle of my crash, I decided to paint Frankenstein.  I wasn't even WATCHING Frankenstein. 

Shot #16:  The God of Vermin

...And yet another one that has nothing to do with clowns.  To my credit, I did notice the trend and promptly responded as only a drunk artist surrounded by paints could:

Shot #17:  I am a Clown (it says so right here).

See?  I might be severely poisoned, but I remember the theme!  It says so right there!

Shot #18:  Um...it's the clown from Hamlet?  Maybe?

When I looked down and saw what I had painted, my reaction was "That totally doesn't count.  We're going to throw this one away and act like it never existed.   You know, because I am not ready to take another shot."  The person keeping me company during my Art Smash militantly disagreed.  That bitch.

Shot #19:  Clown Sexual Frustration

Nineteen shots into the Art Smash and almost dead, I can still come up with this crap.  To be honest, the above picture was supposed to be the "Emo Clown".

Shot #20:  Dr. Bobo hunts at Midnight

I have no idea what is going on anymore.

Shot #21:  Chainsaw-Juggling

At this point in time, someone just randomly shouted out the word "chainsaws" and this is what came out of it.  Or so I'm told.  I don't remember painting this at ALL.

Shot #22:  So.  Very.  Clown.

A clown in ink surrounded by me trying to write the word "clown" over and over again.  Definitely time to call it a night. 


While I ended up drinking LESS this time around, I drank the Tequila a lot faster thanks to me being retarded and deciding to work in a medium that doesn't take very much time.  Of course, being destroyed in the name of creativity is part of the practice...but still. 

I've said it before but it needs repeating:  The next time I say I'm going to do a booze-based Art Marathon, someone stop me.




Click HERE to see the original Art Smash Tequila!





Copyright 2006 Jared von Hindman or maybe just Jared Hindman.  It depends.  Any images used that are not Jared's are used via Fair Use review purposes and belong to their respective owners....who are nice people that don't want to sue me.

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