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Detention Hall 2005 Yearbook, etc: A while back my computer caught fire...and a number of people helped me out in that time of complete doom. One group of people from the online game Kingdom of Loathing donated far too much with the stipulation that I'd so SOMETHING for them...like a yearbook or, well, something appropriate. While I still need to reformat most of the art I did for them, I'd feel remiss if I didn't post the original artwork as soon as possible for them to see. What I ended up doing was weird drawings of all the members, illustrating a weird story involving their Clan's origin, and paint some really random, random things. Their "theme" is kids in High School Detention...or just scary kids...I'm not sure. Take a look: Front Cover (minus Photoshopped text Title)
Back Cover:
Detention Hall: Burning a Better Tomorrow. The Story of the Detention Hall, a cautionary tale:
Text by BlackBeltDuck and Illustrations by Jared (me) Once upon a time, in the BEFORE TIME, everyone waited for this myth called "ascension." They worshipped at the temples of Boris, Jarlsberg, and Sneaky Pete. Once in awhile, a voice from above would say "Two more weeks"--but after 7 months, hopes were getting low.
They tried to build up the most muscle, mysticality, and moxie as they could. Months were spent learning different tunes, and buffing to ridiculous amounts. Eventually though, everyone became bored. Even taking vacations seemed to be a chore. One day, one of the kingdom's billionaires, Contrickster started marketing his clan. To the tradespeople, he offered millions of meat and rares such as tiny plastic swords.
To the market players, he promised a unique brand name and marketing strategy. To the bored high-profile players, he offered a unique democratic system, where every two weeks, a leader would be elected by the people of the clan.
The clan was wonderful at first, having a group of active, dedicated players. With Sportsguy giving out free buffs in /trade, Nienor hosting her 10-meat sale, Apeboy making a kickass website, and Singleserving as the bestest mathematician in the kingdom, LL seemed to be an up and coming clan! So many more joined when Soupydreck37 became the charismatic clan recruiter, and Ana carefully guarded the stash from opportunistic looters. All the while Contrickster remained in the background...
Once in awhile, though, Contrickster did step in to do some random acts, such as bypassing the entire recruitment procedure that was agreed on to accept people he thought would give the clan "a higher profile." (Keli, Quato, the typical ones that not *everyone* who was in the clan was comfortable having.) Without even telling anyone, he boots a few active and respected players for having "numbers in their name."
The clan members became confused and tried to ask him to at least tell them or give them his reasons. This continued until one day, Contrickster wanted to create a clan webpage. While this was a wonderful idea and immediately was started by Suzika, Contrickster decided that the website needed to be completely in pink, like some Sissyfighter game that no one in the clan had ever played but him. The clan members tried to reason with him, suggesting maybe having one small section in the history be the pink, because frankly no one wanted to be represented by a gaudy flashing pink website.
Pink is awesome and all, but none of us were hyper 12-year-old Barbie fanatics. Contrickster paused. No one heard from him for an hour or so. Then all of a sudden, the mask of quiet eccentricity was lifted and there was Mr. Schizoid!
He started booting the people who disagreed with him, saying that they 'locked him out of the forum'--when in fact, he didn't have access to just ONE new section that was being created to ease the tensions and NO ONE had access yet. He booted people that voiced their opinions about their dislike of the website colours and declared that "this was HIS CLAN, he was controlling it, and fuck the entire facade of democratic elections." The remaining clan members were shocked! OMG, they thought, who is this person?? WTF did we get ourselves into? In fact, the resident mathematician was so shocked out of his mind that he was no longer able to figure out pythagoream theorm. It was a scary time!
After that declaration, the rational ones ran screaming out of the clan. "He's gone completely insane!" they yelled! "Why does c-squared equal a-squared plus b-squared?" puzzled Singleserving! Being clanless, but still dedicated to the game, the ex-members of LL realized that they still loved each other, even more so after the tragedy. They discussed how much of a pain it was to be "good little kids" with no opinions, whose sole purpose was to suck up to higher ups. "We're no longer going to be good kids, we're going to be the BAD ones!" So then they created Detention hall.
They lived happily after. Singleserving eventually regained his math skills to become the bestest of mathematicians in the kingdom, but he was forever traumatized by the colour pink. The END.Additional Art:
Coach Mako: Best Gym Teacher. Ever.
Can You Find Waldo? These are the original scans of the Detention Hall Players. They look much better cropped, but I may run out of time with the 214 Art Crash looming overhead...so here they are to tease you. These are for the intended yearbook pages that are currently testing the limits of my photoshopping/layout abilities. Enjoy:
copyright 2006 jared von hindman, except for that story that BlackBeltDuck wrote. Also, if you are Contrickster, I totally don't know if that story is true or not. I do know it was fun to illustrate though. And pink is quite rad, if not totally tubular. They Made me do it, I swear! Really they did. |
