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Jared's Digital Sewer!

 

So....what the hell is this page all about? Well, recently my computer imploded (again) and I'm finally getting everything together. As part of that process, I've had to organize my folders which were made up of random things from the past decade. Below you'll find stuff from the past 8 years of Head Injury Theater that's been posted and buried on blogs, Twitter, Facebook, G+ and...um....your Mom. I don't know. I'm proud of some of this stuff and while I still need to organize this site better, I figured I'd just have a place officially designated as "Terrible" and "Completely Disorganize". On the flipside? It's very, very random. There's stuff here from year one that is really shameful and stuff that I still can't believe exists. Other stuff? Total indulgences. Enjoy the crazy.

If you like this stuff, find me on Google Plus or Twitter, because that's where most of this shame came from. Well, the stuff that you don't recognize if you only follow the site. I'll shut up not.

(Oh and a LOT of this stuff is part of something else. If I don't link to it, think of it as a Scavenger Hunt. Oh and I'll be coming back to attach links, because some of this is stuff I did for friends and, well, links are currency in the digital world. Go figure.)

This is how all my character creation brainstormings look.

Scanned straight from book that teaches English to Kids....and something extra to #7.

Sucking at Photoshop doesn't hold me back.

Did the Director of Invasion of the Neptune Men demand a model of "The Hitler Building" be blown up or did someone just have a Hitler shrine lying around when the shooting started?

Don't ask.

(Be prepared to asked to Not Ask a lot)

I was a cool kid. Shut up.

I have still been unable to make another pumpkin this freaking cool.

The 1st Banner on the site. If you're a longtime fan, you know who Suicide Lad is.

If you're a new fan? That random stitch thing I paint has a name.

From my "Dinosaurs Attack" review & something I send to newlyweds.

If you screencap things from The Simpsons, they're often more twisted than you imagine.

I did this cartoon when I was 12.

So...here's the deal. I used to use AOL. They had a problem with the images for their news items being one tab behind the story they were currently linking to, meaning often you'd see totally inappropriate images showing up next to headlines. In the above image, AOL seems to be announcing that George Bush mooned people at the Super Bowl. Now that you know the format, let's look a couple more.

Rosa Parks is totally Bootylicious.

If only those Miner's Wives wore the right dress, their husbands would be safe?

Everything I learned about sex I learned reading The Clan of the Cave Bear book series. I'm not alone because apparently after the award-winning first book, all the following novels turned into hardcore romance novels where the world's only hot woman has needs she doesn't understand and finds tribes of single well-endowed men.

Believe it or not, the Hamster Dance went corporate when you looked away.

Falling Down is a great move. Also, it apparently don't want none unless it's got buns. Huh.

I'm so glad DateJesus.com is still around.

Note the address. Originally his site was Jesus.com until a church offered him a LOT of money.

Jesus is cool. And Single.

As disturbing as the finale of the SpongeBob movie is, the behind-the-scenes feature is pure nightmare fuel.

Ox hair was used to make the monstrous doppleganger.

Playing Pictionary Online. I miss it, particularly when me & my webcomic friends went head to head.

It's old news but yeah. Still a fan.

 

If you haven't seen the remake of Reefer Madness you need to fix that now.

Yes, he totally hits that. To Song.

 

 

Hey, an Hourly Comic!

My Tribute Art is weirdly full of dickishness. It's expected.

God, was my trip to London really six years ago?

"I dream of Ass"

I am TERRIBLE at naming paintings.

 

 

 

One day I will finish my review of the Amalgam comics. I promise.

Bizarnage. It's so full of suck it rules.

God damn it Germany.

Yes. A meat and socks combo discount.
I don't know either.

For a defunct Flash game...I contributed an area called "Stillwater".  It was an oceanic world where ships threw idols to the deep ones which would swallow them and drag the ship along. Whenever your character died, you would gain fish traits, Dagon, style.  I still love the idea and have dusted it off MANY times.

Did you know there was an episode of Mythbusters where they put fist-shaped dildos (for fisting) onto a robot?

Because that totally happened....including footage of the girl going to the sex shop to buy said dildos.

Man, did I used to suck. Well, more then than now.

One of many band flyers my stuff has been used for.

I am immune (mostly) to Tequila. If you aren't Familiar with my Tequila Art Smash, look them up.

I have NO idea what webcomic held a contest asking for folks to submit comics that would determine if the "hot goth" character would become a ninja or a pirate. I won and helped her earn that Katana.

 

Hey guys, do you like to Pee?

Girls? This is a urinal. Guys don't talk about it, but we have...um..."targeting" instincts.

The airport in Amsterdam knows this.

No man can resist trying to kill something with his urine, so they just painted a fly right there.

Don't ask.

God damn it, Charles Band.

The Absurdist notion of breast coverings that look like uncovered breasts hurts my soul.

This picture means a lot to me. Some of you know why.

There's a webcomic called Goats that did a guest comic shout-out ages ago. Oddly, they ended up showing this off!

Why I stopped playing Warhammer 40k when they made my Genestealer Cult Army illegal: See that story from White Dwarf magazine? That guy just bought a starter Tyranid army and it cost him well over $1000. Once he's painted them all, he'll find out if he likes them or should try a different army. O_O

I can't recommend this movie enough. Watch it. Now.

 

 

The following is a comic I did and while I meant to give it dialogue, I found it wasn't necessary. Please note that everything in panel 3 is a legit item in the game Kingdom of Loathing.

Before I had my breakdown, the website changed banners every week. Besides the novelty, it was a nice way to let people know how I was feeling without being an emo freak. Well, at least in theory.

I only did one gallery of Photo Magic, but I'm proud of it and wish I had an outlet for more of this stuff.

On a creepier note?

Years ago a guy saw that picture and asked if that girl had no teeth because he found that very arousing.

Seriously.

 

Below is a comic I did for Global Comic Jam, a collaborative storytelling/art thing where people would sign up for a page and then have a month to get their page done. I was the worst artist (debatably) involved but I made up for it by being funny. Enjoy one of 4 here.  (I'd link to the whole story but....the site has been down for years.)

 

I bought this at the corner store. "Secret Energy"?

While it's debatable that I was ever a webcomic despite having years of weekly one-panel comics & what-not, I somehow tricked my way into a Webcomic Collective known as Eyescream. I made some great friends there, most notably Nicole from Strange Fiction. There's some art from her below too!

Comic Swap Day was a big random event and I got the guy behind Fetus X.

He got screwed in the bargain and got stuck with this shitty guy named Jared von Hindman.

Who doesn't like Lordi?

C.H.U.D. had a contest for folks to design their own Nightmare Before Christmas characters.

The suck bit? They, like many others, didn't get enough entries and never spoke of it again.

This is an inflatable Santa Mask, based on the design of an inflatable football helmet, that squeaks if you squeeze the ball in the back. We found it at my workplace (when I was a Community Manager for a website and not a stay-at-home Artist) when workers knocked down a wall and found it sealed in a closet. Yes, I stole it...hoping to unlock it's obvious unholy energy. Sadly now it only reveals itself at parties when we want to terrify people. Note the bright red lady lips. O_O

I even bought the domain Miniature Mayhem before getting sidetracked...my goal this year (and holy crap I'm jinxing myself by saying it) is to get the rules out there. It's a great game that embraces the notion that Fun can be Free. The downside to a miniatures game that can use miniatures from anything? If you get into it you buy miniatures from EVERYTHING.

This is actually how I got involved in Dungeons & Dragons. Their minis were cool and while I had no idea what the hell a Tiefling was, he look downright badass in a game of miniature mayhem. So by the time I got invited to actually PLAY Dungeons and Dragons, I had hundreds of plastic monsters already. I'm weird like that.

And still he's an emo crybaby.

Yes, that's a Lite Brite.

From my City of Villains review (I still can't believe a fan GAVE me a subscription if I reviewed the game), behold the charming "random NPC who pukes every 5 seconds without fail." God.

Apparently I was always painting. That's me working the biker shorts.

Speaking of Flashbacks, this is very, very real:

 

A comic I did for the City of Villains Forum, which had these weird "Artistic Genius" contests where you got money or in-game look for rocking. I won 3 times.

If you played City of Villains, you'd know that my zombie Longbow agent is brilliant. To the rest of you:

I made a character (with a story) that looked exactly like the most common enemy in the game, meaning I would often vanish in enemy crowds and people would have that HOLY CRAP AN ENEMY reaction when they stopped paying attention. Fun times.

I wish I knew more History so I could confirm how messed up this is.

Commemorative State Quarters: Florida gets Spanish Galleons and Space Shuttles and a design highlighting something kind of cool about the wang of the North American continent. What does Alabama get?

"Helen Keller lived here."

Alabama: Ok, we lost the Civil War. We get it.

So I used my magic weenis sack to animate the spirit so the Wizard could use his want to blast off his phantom genitals.

Fine. YOU make sense of that illustration.

I hate you, Nicole.

Less hate-worthy guest comicness from StrangeFiction.com

I can't believe I sold this painting.

I saw this and immediately had to copy it.

 

 

Potentially the Only Good Joke in Pluto Nash.

 

My tribute to Dan Savage.

 

I can only assume that "Snake" is a character class in Chill.

 

I told you. In Miniature Mayhem, you can use ANY miniature. Including baby Jesus.

 

 

Those of you who know me know why this is here.

Those who don't probably have figured out my weakness for curvy girls.

 

I rarely linked to websites but when I did I'd paint up something and then let the person know. This was pretty uneventful until I went to Spoony's website (click HERE my art is still up) and saw it became his banner. Good times.

My favorite RPG:

It's not the BEST RPG but the concepts inside are ripe for picking. The idea of an entire party sharing one crossdressing stunt dwarf that, once he's dead you're in trouble is insanely fun.

The DDM (Dungeons & Dragons Miniatures) folks would occasionally ask for suggestion for new miniatures. I STILL think this idea is awesome.

...Something I drew really quick because I couldn't think of what to say to someone I knew online who was deathly ill.

The only good part of a movie I dare not speak its name. But yes. Snail Rape.

What was the first thing I learned about D&D roleplayers? People like to bitch about the Warforged. The Warforged Wizard was the 1st miniature I ever got and...well...it as surreal to find out my favorite thing in D&D apparently was hated. God bless the Dragonborn and Shardminds for making the Warforged the lesser of many evils.

My Hurricane Katrina comic I did for the Telethon.

Too many Alphabets. Check out the Special section. I still groove on the two brush stroke hair trick.

D&D Cosmology is fun.

Actual name of a gaming shop that hired me to do art.

Rotoscoping Porn is never a proud occupation.

Plot diagram from a film project of mine. I hide it well, but I'm a big narrative theory nerd.

Ah. Photo Magic. I missed you.

Kracked Mirror Klothing was a company that hired me to design weird freaky things.  In the end, we only made one dress.

We welded that together. Good times.

Actual sketch from an MTV think tank I was working with for a short while for a Puppet-based show.

You want to play this game. Imagine if someone crossed a post-apocalyptic setting, Mallrats, Mouseguard, and the World of Darkness and you'd get Ratten. It was supposedly translated into English last year, so keep your eyes peeled.

I did some art for them and just to give some context: There is a tribe of rats that are the only ones who are literate and can read the word of the Lost Ones. They live in the bookstore where a fire rages in the waste basket and they must sacrifice their wisdom to keep the flames of life alive. They ritualistically burn themselves. You know, like most people who live in a book store.

Naturally, I had to burn a book in their honor.

 

"Talibank"?

Yeah, sometimes I just dialed it in on Guest Comics. I'm not proud.

I have no clue why the clerk setting up the window decided to take a break with naked ladies in masks as their benchmark.

You don't believe me, but this is an add for prostitution recruitment. Which is legal in Germany, but still surreal.

The Fiji Mermaid.

(Too Ugly for the person who commissioned it.)

Not my find, but reposted because man, does that kid look cool.

When kids come over to my place, there's not much normal stuff to play with.

A constant inquiry. Also the reason I don't use that palette.

I want to be inside you, Japan.

Actual line from the Death Race 2000 remake.

Look at the author's name. Yes.

If you recognize this, you are awesome.

Preview image posted by someone on the DDM forums, entitled "Bad Touch".

If you like these, you will never get your own pair. RYZ stopped doing cool designs about a year ago, which is a shame.

Also: Please don't let me sneeze in this thing.

Actual Art I put on a T-shirt when I found out I got hired to paint for the Dungeons & Dragons team.

I have the best fans.

I arrange weird photoshoots for people courting the Suicide Girls and other nefarious sites. (Full Gallery hidden on this site, pervs)

Team Goblinstomper, my D&D Championship team that made it too the final round. The guy on my right named his character "Parker Lewis" in hopes it would ensure an inability to lose.

From a book I did for school when I was 9. The story is worse than you think.

"Stranger with Candy"...I was a messed up kid.

When I did promo art for Salvatore's Ghost King, for some reason they didn't like this one.

Drizzt jokes are better if you actually read the books.

Real life Githyanki! Maybe.

I made a subtle change to this picture. Can you spot it?

 

Someone asked me to paint an undead tank bulldozer called a "Zomboni". Behold the design process.

Thank you, The Simpsons.

A great game and a ballsy move. Closest thing these days might be All Orcs Must Die.

People often approve when they hear I have a pet snake. He's exotic too.

As a garter snake and me living in Germany, he's very exotic.

:sigh:

Not to pimp my own favorites but if you like giant monsters or kaiju films, you need this in your life. As someone who lives bad movies, every aspect of this game is a tribute to something. And nothing beats throwing a tentacle monster into a volcano before stomping on a tank. Well, doing so repeatedly, I guess.  I've always wanted to review this game but every attempt turns into me just listing what's in the game.

"Meat Slave" is a miniature in the game Monsterpocalypse. Don't Google it.

Excerpt from my "Wight before Christmas" module.

I leave inspirational notes to myself.

Yeah, I know.

Man, Betty Boop has skills.

MonPoc art done under the "I have 2 minutes" challenge. I made it, if you don't count the time it took me blowdrying it so I could do the inks fast.

General Consensus at the Webcomic Convention.

Hellraiser for Kids, apparently.

In Monsterpocalypse, there are things called "Stealth Apes" that are huge and not stealthy at all.

The more I learn about D&D the less it makes sense.

Nightbreed is a great movie. Also, I wish I did more work with the actual materials I'm trying to paint.

Bioshockery.

The Most Stolen Image I've ever painted....and one that appeared on Fox News in a piece about the danger of the Emo. Oddly, I did this as a joke and they took it as deathly serious.

Yay, Bootleg!

 

I have a tablet, but not enough patience.

 

 

 

Why do I post everything? Because someone bought this doodle I did to test out my new calligraphy pens.

 

Every party at my place gets a piece of art. I think I'd been drinking already in this case.

 

It translates to "Thick & Thirsty" which isn't much better.
 

I don't understand why this is on the side of my milk carton either.

 

 

ProTip: No matter what you're playing in the game, use the least appropriate miniature that's also the least threatening. You'll get into your Storyteller's head more than you think.

 

Jared doodles his character design so that maybe it makes sense to someone who asked.

 

 

I loved being the official artist of MonCon 2010.

 

It made sense before Essentials.

 

 

Don't ask.

....and that's how I met Chris Sims.

 

My fans rule.

I'm winning right now because I'm setting myself on fire. Shut up, it's a legal move.

Castle Crashers players should get this joke. Or maybe just me and J of The Jerks in the Back Row.

Man, it's creepy seeing Gygax pimp his under-aged daughter in the name of D&D.

When at GenCon, be safe from Orc Hordes by using routes through Elf Park.

Ok, I'm good to my fans too.

She's sleeping but somehow I assumed here Giraffe costume became sentient and started to devour her.

Highlight of DragonCon: The guy's persistence.

I didn't answer my email in time, so for the DungeonCrawler card signing I became a Felon.

Note left for Logan at GenCon.

I hate this world.

I painted a D&D map called "Tract of the Tarrasque". You want twelve.

I don't think I've be that calm in his situation.

 

 

My leggy friend aside, this is evidence that yes, we do casually watch "Machine Gun Bimbos".

 

If you've seen The Curse 2, you know my costume is awesome.

 

I feel downright guilty how much my popularity surged after Hurricane Katrina. :(

Rejected Refuge in Audacity art.

Meant for a World Breakers book that never got published.

 

PVP has some weird advertisements. Also, is that guy smiling because he's going to punt that poor girl's dirty pillows?

 

 

In Germany, they assume this is normal in the States.

 

Actual screenshot from Zebraman 2.

 

Logan Bonner gave me a chance to avenge my favorite comic character's death (Warlock) upon the artist responsible for the character Cable. I failed.

 

An Art Order submission I sent to the wrong place.

 

RPGA Criticism:

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Bite Her In The Butt" is an amazing tagline for a film.

 

I told you, all my character design brainstorms look like this.

 

Another screenshot from Falling Down.

 

Do not steal cookies in Milan.

 

 

 

If you are afraid of shaking hands, please accept that you aren't allowed to spend cash at the convention either, scaredy-cats.

 

 

 

 

These books were laid at my doorstep. I wish I could read German.

 

 

 

Nicole rules...this was my 1st Guest Comic of....maybe 3 in 9 years? Check here out by clicking HERE.

If it helps her traffic, I'll totally tell you about the time she put on big googly eyes and filmed herself getting spanked.

Apparently the Avatar like punk zebrataur pole-dancers.

Lyrics to an Eatus Fetus song, presented in Double Abyss Structure.

(That means in worksheet form.)

 

And then the spear-wielding tribesmen were ambushed by the cookie crisp wizard cyclops.

 

Telling? I don't know.

 

Ok, that's literally a pole-dancing character. Break-away cloak?

Also note this is the first female character in the RPGA.

 

I'm kind of surprised they didn't just add "Hot woman chained to wall" to the loot tables in Dungeons & Dragons.

 

So me and these 3 thieves were raiding this tomb and suddenly I realized how undeniably and completely screwed I was.

 

Wow.

 

I wish I could read the Art Order for this one. I'm sure the word "GRABBING HIS ASS" was highlighted.

 

I like the kid's face.

 

Thank you White Wolf for teaching me that Mermaids lactate oxygen.

 

I've run very few D&D games, but those that I have are usually memorable.

 

Why a Clown Mask?

 

I so wish I'd been around for the Spellfire card game.

 

Thank you, White Dwarf magazine.

 

Man, I remember the time Colossus punched Data from Star Trek.

 

...and the time Wolverine got hit with a Vulcan neck pinch.

 

Or the time an entire DC Comics story arc featured The Zoo Crew.

 

 

Drunken D&D

"Death by Monologue"

 

 

 

Eatus Fetus: The only band where the drummer just showed up in a bunny costume and no one asked about it.

 

The reason I think they changed the rules for the D&D Championships.

 

So the only time I went to Hooters I got stuck doodling fan art for servers because they demanded it.

 

 

This is even weirder now that Spiderman IS black.

 

 

This is how Berlin keeps pigeons from pooping on things.

 

Hot Dog Vending Machine in Berlin, waiting for you.

 

 

This is the piece of art that started the website. My lady was taking me some 9 years ago to see Don Giovanni, but I'm a visual learner so I doodled all the characters as she told me about them. She ended up scanning this and sharing it on her Opera forum. 48 hours later people wanted it on t-shirts and the Bangkok opera wanted it on promotional material. Apparently not many people doodle opera, which kind of explains why that section is up on my site...it was how I got started. That ego boost lead to others and the idea that maybe I should have a portfolio online.

 

 

Drunken D&D

 

Thank you, Futurama.

 

My friend Mike got this tattoo and, really, I have to say I approve.

 

A friend was sad about her bruise, so I thought I'd fix it.

 

Dave, you know this.

 

 

I steal things from graffiti found here in Berlin. I'm shameless.

 

From a Card Game I did called Iocaine Power for some Kingdom of Loathing nerds:

 

More Global Comic Jam:

 

 

It sees you.

 

Not only a real film, but I got to interview the directors.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This art is so terrible I'm almost comfortable with how many times this gag's been swiped.

 

 

 

Actual wedding gift for two Monsterpocalypse players.

 

Oh hey, my 8-bit Theater guest comic:

 

She was Spirited Away and never seen again.

 

Jabba likes having at least 3 balls in his mouth.

(From my Attacktix review)

 

 

Berlin rules.

 

To date, I have only not done Archie because I don't know where to buy an arrow.

 

Before I was posting art, I was writing. From my Killbots/Chopping Mall review, this was the full extent of my spellchecking & photoshopping abilities. Sad times.

 

I hate asking for money, so if I do I have to ramp it up.

 

I hate the art but I stand by the dialogue of this Comic Jam:

 

 

 

Believe it or not, a Jewish center bought the original painting from me years ago. That doesn't make it any better.

 

I miss my trend of painting Halloween costumes of fans. It meant getting the wedding photo you see above. And their wedding cake?

 

I get sad sometimes.

 

 

 

 

This panel from Marvel zombies was so horrible, I made a blank one for readers to create their own horrible truths:

 

UnFun Fact: The most hatemail I get is for my article on World War 2 propaganda cartoons. I don't understand it but I do treasure someone calling me a Commie Pinko. That's magical.

Pumpkins get boring.

 

 

 

 

 

Do you recognize these miniatures? Because out of hundreds of really geeky nerds, NO ONE has a clue. Some I found being sold by a homeless guy here in Berlin but two came from someone that says they stole them from the prototype/rejection room at Wizards of the Coast. The Mystery remains.

 

 

 

 

 

There is nothing sexual about the packaging of Maoam Kracher.

 

 

What, you didn't know North Korea kidnapped people to make Godzilla rip-offs?

 

NextWave is the best comic ever.

 

 

 

You will play my card game one day.

 

The feat "Clever tail" is bad enough but I didn't expect the double meaning nor it to ever be illustrated.

 


Blackface on the cover of a newspaper. Yeah, Germany is different.

 

He wears the mask so no one knows his true identity.

 

At least she looks a little self-conscious riding her friend in public like that.

 

I've gotten so many emails so please understand: This is not real.

 

Not a masturbation joke.

 

Oh Shadowrun, I miss you.

 

 

 

More games need to be like Deadlands and feature an intro where Bruce Campbell makes fun of you.

 

Um...how do YOU play?

 

 

 

 

Lutz has had this wallpaper up since 1972.

 

 

Extreme Knitting.

 

I'm sure the Art Order said: Don't make it obvious, but she is Nipple Powered.

 

When the next edition of D&D comes out this will make no sense, but I stand by it.

 

Actual D&D comic panel that is canonical. If you play in the Forgotten Realms this totally happened.

 

 

 

God is this old. On the flipside, the "not convinced" line is still used to this day.

 

Thank you Dave & Busters for convincing me not to breed.

 

 

 

 

"I feel guilty for wanting to play the Star Wars RPG and have a campaign that revolves around an intergalactic Rock tour with an alien band that's an amalgam of KISS, Josie & the Pussycats, and GWAR. Looking at the game there's so much almost random fluff (and more Player Character races than Monsters which is surreal considering the D&D 3.5 core) to limit yourself to bounty hunters, jedi knights, and the like.

By the by, the band would be named Jefferson DeathStar and as dynamic front Chevin I would sing our hit singles: "Force Push Gently", "Sith Happens", "Hutt for Teacher" & "Red Hoth Love"."

 

 

 

Actual note from the Gamma World panel at GenCon.

 

 

I'm really good at those crane machines found in the Denny's lobby. Everyone has 1 stupid super power and that, sadly, is mine.

I hate this picture but I see why it had to be shared.

It took us forever to look at this Wedding photo and figure out why so many people are on the ground. The answer:  They were doing the Time Warp.

 

Jemma Salume, I have punched so many guys because of you.

 

Actual billboard in Berlin. I don't know why I'm surprised.

 

My Tree decorations are special.

 

Birthday art someone sent me that I adore and wish I knew where it came from.

 

Billboard I saw in Greece.

 

Actual Pop-Up Ad fro Shopping.com:

 

 

Artsy Urinals trouble me.

 

The only two books that contain apologies from the author about the very book you just bought and read.

 

Folks, don't look at your traffic. Seeing this now is kind of embarrassing as I broke 13 million about 4 years ago and then just stopped keeping track. I'm better for it, I think.

 

I got some complaints saying this was inaccurate, so I updated it:

 

Note the wallpaper pattern.

 

In Florida, I really had a Tourette Synedrome prostitute living next door. It was something of legend.

 

Did YOU know that McDonald's hired P-Diddy to design new uniforms? True story.

 

Joseph, I'm talking about you.

 

To quote Nico: "Adventure Quest is the only game I know that I can play while watching Porn online."

 

The Book of Erotic Fantasy is....I have no clue. Words fail.

 

I live here, though the space men are long gone.

 

A while back, Digg.com was very mean to me. So I started an alphabet, confessing all:

 

 

"Make My Monster Grow"

(a euphemism)

Dear God. The hell?

Fact: Chocolate Santas do not make good jack-o-lanterns.

I still had to try since it's criminal he showed up before Halloween.

 

Comic I did when I was 12.

 

 

The Looney Tunes movie gets so many points for admitting that Bugs Bunny made a lot of boys, at the very least, bi-curious.

 

Holy Crap. My Photobucket almost got shut down for posting this without editing it.

But yeah, this happened and was a bestseller.

 

Yep. "World of Whorecraft" is totally a thing, though for legal reasons they changed the name to WhoreLore.

And no, that's the extent of what I know about it.

 

My portraits of the authors is creepily spot-on.

 

Yep, I got paid to take part in a "paint yourself naked" calendar. I don't get it either.

 

Not only is there a discount bucket of panties at the sex shop, but for a dollar Sara will put her hand in there.

 

Stripper Poles are not for kids.

 

 

If you don't know what a Real Doll is, I envy you.

 

At for Ian, trying to get me to finish a painting he paid for but didn't get done in time.

 

I have issues but this still cracks me up.

 

The first Comic I ever did. If you don't know Kingdom of Loathing, it should seem extra batshit crazy.

 

There used to be a webcomic that reviewed websites. This happened within the first few months but still, I'm a fan.

 

Lovecraftian Fiasco fun.

 

I have no idea what movie this is from but some terrible chinese action film features a scene where, when cornered the hero devours a magic glowing frog. To this day, no one seems to now what I'm talking about.

 

I have no idea if that's the music for Faust or not.

 

Yep, when I was on Angelfire (sweet jesus it's sad but true) I thought robo-Walt Disney was a good idea. Don't ask. The Death Toll is also how the writing side of the site got started, where I would just list terrible deaths & scenes from movies. Then it got out of hand.

Don't make black business cards. They're hard to write on.

 

The entire evil plot is foiled by the hero looking at a man's nipple. In 3 paragraph-long detail.

 

 

My DM may spoil me.

 

 

You know that black/white background that I use for everything? This is what I really looks like.

The Vanillinomicon?

Weird story: As a kid, I used to be really athletic and into softball...and then I stopped playing. I never could figure out why until I opened my time capsule and found my softball. Apparently I knew it was important to me so I wanted to send it to my future self, ensuring that I wouldn't give a crap because I stopped playing.

Capri-Sun thinks that your kids want to put Captain Jack's fruit in their mouth.

Zombie Jesus is old news now, but in 2004 it still felt fresh.

Yep. That's a real news story.

 

 

Kingdom of Loathing Christmas Card, and the image randomly at the bottom of my Digital Sewer.

Thanks for playing!

 

 

TAKE ME HOME!

 

Copyright 2012 Jared von Hindman or maybe just Jared Hindman.  It depends.  Any images used that are not Jared's are used via Fair Use review purposes and belong to their respective owners....who are nice people that don't want to sue me.  Except that this page is the Digital Sewer and some of it isn't mine. If there's a problem, just let me know. Seriously this page is just for kicks.

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