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Welcome to the annual Strange Halloween Celebration over here. And now it's OVER. Check back in a day or so for lots of painted Halloween costumes that people have submitted as well as the bizarre chance to see more daily update action, which might become regular once I get a buffer created.
(For those visiting after the season: The last 14 monsters were originally posted without names. The first person to name them all got a super-cool prize. It was awesome. You should have been there.)
Sometimes people email me their Halloween Costumes. And sometimes I paint them.
Halloween Bonus Mystery Guest: LORDI
There is an honest-to-goodness metal band from Finland out there named Lordi that is ALL about the Halloween. Think of it as a George Romero meets Gwar. Yeah, it's that cool. And before you call me a terrible name, at least look at what the real band looks like:
October 31st: The Alien (from Alien), The Wolfman (from The Monster Squad), Megalon, and Pennywise the Clown (from Stephen King's IT).
It's funny, but here's a weird confession. I like Alien over Aliens. Sure, they're decent movies...but I choose suspense/horror over science-fiction/action any day. The whole H.R. Giger (pronounced GEEGER, kids) aspect is also rather keen, even if the alien is a giant multi-limbed phallus. I mean, isn't that horrific unto itself?
Yes, Wolfman has nards.
Megalon, the giant beetle with giant drills on his hand, really doesn't look that huge when I paint him on a pretty pink & purple background, does he? I could go on and on about his role in Godzilla movies, but really. He fights Godzilla. He has drills for arms. He doesn't win. He's a lot like most of Godzilla's enemies (that have drills for arms).
Holy crap did this book scare me. Obviously that's not Tim Curry as Pennywise from the made-for-tv four hour "movie", but it seems enough of you figured it out. The story of an evil murderous alien who could change shape and lured children to their deaths by becoming a happy clown...so very screwed up. Speaking of things that are screwed up, pay close attention to the novel or you'll miss Stephen King's less than subtle orgy in the middle. I still find it hilarious that some genres (horror, mostly) have to throw in pointless sex scenes to keep things spicy, just like a crappy movie would. Hell, Stephen's pretty good at it too. Read Pet Sematary and TELL me the erotic bathtub sequence is vital to the plot. Let's move on, before I keep going with this and we wake up in a very unpleasant paragraph about Stephen King sex scenes..
Click HERE to see the Fright Night Project that I took part in. (They update the site with all sorts of Halloween Comics today...but they don't give a time. As such, you might have to return to this later.)
October 30th: Vincent Valentine, Freddy, and Satan (from Satan's Little Helper)
Vincent Valentine is from Final Fantasy 7, the movie Advent Children, and the recent PS2 game, Dirge of Cerberus. Despite being a ninja with a giant claw and a revolver, he's also the most Halloween-centric you can get with a video game character. If you pissed him off enough, he'd transform into a werewolf, Frankenstein, Jason Voorhees, or a demon/vampire. A ninja that can turn into awesome Halloween monsters? Is there anything cooler?
Satan's Little Helper is a movie about a serial killer in a Satan mask and a little boy dressed like John Lovitz from Saturday Night Live.. From the director of "Squirm", the killer earthworm movie, comes a both recent and surprisingly good Halloween movie about a little boy who joins up with a serial killer thinking he's the devil. It's actually funny, but mostly in an overdone horror movie way. Oh, and there's no happy ending. God bless films without happy endings.
October 29th: Ben 10
Despite being a kid's show, I think the premise of Ben 10 would make for truly unique horror. For those who don't watch the show, Ben is a kid who accidentally picked up an alien device that lets him become one of ten different aliens, each with their own power. While on the show these aliens are treated like superhero bodies devoid of any intelligence of their own, my version would be a tad darker. Hell, if you abstract the plot enough, it becomes a story of a small boy with an army of alien creatures living within his flesh. You try to tell me that's a show for kids.
October 28th: Baragon, Baragon, and Birdo
If you've ever played Super Mario Brothers 2 (and as everyone who entered got this one right for the contest) then you might remember the pink dinosaur with a bow on its head that spits eggs at you. According to the instruction booklet that came with the game, Birdo the boss was transgendered. Well, not really but Nintendo apparently mistranslated the manual back in 1988: "He thinks he is a girl and he spits eggs from his mouth. He'd rather be called 'Birdetta." Somehow I think Nintendo didn't pay their translator enough and this is how they got back at them....because that's a serious case of mistranslation.
Hey, check it out! Floridian Dex sent me a picture of his Halloween costume, obviously the ghost with the most. As promised, I painted my version of it...and it turned out a wee bit different from last year's Beetlejuice painting. Hope you like it Dex, and thanks for sharing your rather dapper costume with us.
Oh and if anyone else wants to send me pictures of their Halloween costume, chances are I'll paint them as well. Just so you know.
October 27th: Leroy Gomm (Tubby Goth Tentacle guy from Nightbreed) and The Candyman
If you didn't get these, then you're not the Clive Barker fan that you thought you were...since he created them both. In fact, maybe you should read a refresher. Click here, puny mortal.
October 26th: Vampire Hunter D
October 25th: The Predator
I hate to admit it, but I've painted the Predator quite a few times over the past few years. I think it has something to do with a creepy fascination with that spooky mouth hole of his. Either that or the fact that he's an alien who wears gothic fishnet shirts and has big Rastafarian locks of dread. So "Predators" are really just Goth Jamaicans from Space. Obviously I'm thinking too hard about this.
Oh, and here's a new Zombie comic:
October 24th: The Uninvited (a.k.a. "The Evil Skinless Cat")
I'm willing to bet that the majority of the people out there didn't know there was a horror movie called "Uninvited", which is about a genetically mutated poisonous cat killing people on a yacht. The cat/monster isn't half bad, as apparently it's a normal cute cat with an evil skinless version of it that lives inside its cute fuzzy wuzzy flesh. Trust me, that description is much cooler than the actual movie. But still. Hot skinless cat action. Wow.
October 23rd: Mimic: Man-eating Cockroaches
It's funny how Hollywood has to taint all foreign directors by forcing them to direct something that we know is going to be terrible. Mimic, the movie about giant killer cockroaches that can look like men wearing trenchcoats, was directed by Guillermo del Toro. Toro is a Mexican director made famous for his amazingly good but surprisingly underground film Cronos. Check it out. If that doesn't convince you, Toro's the same guy who directed Hellboy & Blade 2. He's not making classics, but at least he's got style. And work experience involving giant man-eating cockroaches.
October 22nd: Maximum Overdrive (& Guild Wars?)
If you ever wondered why Stephen King doesn't direct his own damn movies, here's the reason why. Aliens, magic machines, and an ending with a political twist that makes your teeth crack, Maximum Overdrive has it all. Including a giant truck with the head of the Green Goblin on it. Don't ask me. I don't know either.
Also someone told me that the nice folks who run the Guild Wars game were having a Halloween contest. I threw some art together and while I don't think it's "legit" by the contest's rules (no using Halloween costumes that aren't generic and copyright-free), I still wanted to share....because they were fun to make. You could also call this the return of the Rotoscope. Featured below is the original Art followed by my "rotoscoped" version. Check it out, particularly if you're a Guild Wars player.
October 21st: F#@%-Head & FrankenPumpkin
Some of the most easily forgotten monsters end up being the most disturbing. The Hellraiser film series has lots of bondage psycho demons in it known as Cenobites. None of them have "proper" names, just descriptive titles. The fat one got named Butterball while the awesome one with all the pins in his head ended up being named Pinhead. In Hellraiser 3, Pinhead returns and creates a new batch of cenobites. At the very end of the film, the main character's dead boyfriend comes back. In a weird, less-than-subtle sexual metaphor, he now has a mechanical drill bit pistoning/pumping/sexually penetrating his head. Calling him F###-Head just struck some of the fans as the right thing to do. I don't blame them.
October 20th: Scorpion!
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking this list of monsters is pretty weird and sort of stretches the boundaries of what was supposed to fit into the Halloween theme. You might be right. That said, how could you describe a character that's a fire-breathing NINJA ZOMBIE with spears in his wrists as anything but a monster? C'mon people. Ninja Zombie. Fire-breathing. Spears instead of wrist-bones. So yeah, Scorpion is super freaky when you look at him in the right light. Of course that's the same light that points out that Mario and Luigi love doing mushrooms which is either a drug reference or a commentary on Japanese slang, where "mushroom" is synonymous with "penis." As such, let's move on. And NOT talk about how gay the Mushroom Kingdom could be.
October 19th: The Amazing Randion (and Pumpkins!)
What makes Randion so amazing? If you said something about his distinct lack of limbs, then you'd be correct. The Amazing Randion (his full name from credits) was one of the stars of the 1932 classic "Freaks." It's one of those films you have to see to believe, using real sideshow attractions (FREAKS) as the film's stars. While it's sort of respectful with the subject matter (which is controversial and disturbing unto itself already) the film's climax features all sorts of natural human oddities wielding knives, twisted human frames rising from the shadows to have their revenge. Of course in Randion's amazing case, you get to see him wiggle on the ground wielding a knife with his teeth. Which is honestly really scary. And amaaaaaaazing.
October 18th: Jeepers Creepers
This was originally going to be one of the pieces that you had to guess what movie it was from....and admittedly it would have been too tough for next week's contest. Jeepers Creepers was really two movies: 1 was about some sort of crazy psycho dressed as a scarecrow killing people and driving around in his giant truck and the other movie was all about a chunky demon that looked like a professional wrestler that had a face that opened up like bear trap. While the film never really combined the two, the scary face + scarecrow issue struck me as the best of both worlds. In other words, I like my version better. Man, I should have just typed that instead of all that other crap. Live and learn.
October 17th: Shardik the Bear, Guardian of the Beam
While Stephen King's Dark Tower series is really more of a Science Fiction thing featuring weird references to Doctor Doom, Harry Potter, Charlie the Choo-Choo, and time travel, they do, from time to time, dive back into Stevie's namesake: Horror. After finally finishing the whole thing, I just want to say the coolest, most hardcore thing in the whole series is still this giant psychotic cyborg bear named Shardik. Of course, when I drew him here, I had another bear in mind. But you get the general idea.
October 16th: Pulgasari (and Kim Jong-iL)
Oh man. I do so love it when current events make me change my plans. "Pulgasari" is a film produced by North Korean's Kim Jong-il in 1985 using a director that North Korean intelligence kidnapped several years earlier from South Korea. Pulgasari is a metaphor about capitalism (which is a giant monster that at first seems great but eventually will destroy you), but when you put the modern nuclear spin on it....it works. Really well, in fact. Hunt down a copy while you still can without being put on the government blacklist.
October 15th: Poppy Z. Brite and a Banana...
Enjoy a bonus comic, Halloween-themed.
If you don't know who Poppy Z. Brite is, move along. This doesn't concern you.
Yes, that is a banana. I don't expect too many people to get this, but there's a movie out there called "The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made." And while it's NOT the Worst horror movie ever made, it is one of the worst films I've ever had the chance to see. Even worse though, it's honestly funny enough for me to mention it. It's got vampire lesbians, death by playing cards, the return of Jesus Christ who apparently is in need of lots of sex, a giant female crotch, and many other things that warrant it being special. Oh and the text on the painting is a direct quote from the movie, as a banana eats the poor guy from the inside out.
October 14th: Edward Scissorhands
Sure, he's not a monster...but he is a guy dressed in bondage leather with giant mechanical claws for hands. Don't bother me about it...I'm still getting over my Friday the 13th night of movies, pumpkin carving, and drunken debauchery.
October, Friday the 13th:
Jason Voorhees. A Lot of Jason voorhees.
Click the above link to read the a very long article about the remaining Jason movies, Parts 5-11.
Also, enjoy a few Jason pieces I threw together for you. They're a little abstract, but I blame that on the fact that the above article ended up being almost 9,000 words long. Gah.
October 12th: The Gremlins
October 11th: Brain Damage (+ Mini Article)
This tiny article may well be the first time I ramble on about something I honestly like. Oh wait, that's not true at all. I still stand by the fact that this would have made a better blog entry than article.
October 10th: Shakma, or I brought a Baboon to LARP!
In 1990, they decided to make a killer baboon movie. It's not that simple but the plot is pretty much about a bunch of Dungeons & Dragons live-action role-players (LARPers, if you will) decide to play in an animal research lab. An evil baboon starts killing all of them....and there's your movie. Roddy McDowall also has a part in this weird little morality tale about playing with monkeys, but the less said of that the better.
October 9th: Phantom of the Paradise
There are a few films that I try not to talk about to much...because I honestly like them. That doesn't make them good movies and more often than not I file them under in a greasy place in my brain labeled "guilty pleasures". Brian DePalma's "Phantom of the Paradise" is a weird (but amazing) cross between the story of Faust and the Phantom of the Opera, full of 70's folk music. That didn't sound like something I'd be interested in either, but seeing is believing. I'm not proud that this is one of my favorite films and if you ask me about it, I'll do my best to deny that filthy little truth.
October 8th: The Yokai Umbrella
What can I say. This particularly horrible thing made a lasting impression.
October 7th: Halloween Music Television, a short article
The Bride of Frankenstein
While later films such as Re-animator 2 and Frankenhooker would really address this further, the original Bride of Frankenstein is awesome because it's sort of about a guy trying to make the perfect woman. More or less. The concept is kind of messed up but some part of you still wonders why he didn't get a bit more....self-indulgent when he started putting her together.. I mean, who wouldn't want to "Pimp My Bride?" :sigh:
October 6th: Takashi Miike's "Imprint"
I'm usually not a fan when they bring back "classic directors of the horror genre" for one reason or another. Showtime, however, did it right. Sort of. Think of it as a big-budget Twilight Zone...with more sex and violence, because it's on Showtime. Most of the episodes are made by the olde schoole of American Horror guys (John Carpenter, Tobe Hooper, etc) or even lesser known talents, like the guy who directed Bubba Ho-Tep. However, the season finale was done by my boy, Takashi Miike. You know, the director of Zebraman and that Yokai movie that I seem to like typing about. His episode is about torture, abortion, abuse, lost love, and a disfigured hooker with a freaking hand on the side of her face that's her sister. And, believe it or not, it's more screwed up than I can convey in this tiny amount of space. Trust me on that..
October 5th: The Saw DoLL
While it may be another victim of the Hollywood Remake Machine, I really dug those evil ventriloquist dolls the bad guy used to narrate in the movie Saw. Really like them. Like I want one to hold video conferences with. You know, if I had a reason to hold video conferences.
October 4th: Halloween 3, an ARticle!
I don't care if it IS the wrong holiday. Jacob Marley from A Christmas Carol was one of those scary things I remember from when I was a kid. It didn't matter what season it was. It didn't matter if the version you were watching featured the Muppets. What did matter was that a dead guy in chains was in your bedroom. Obviously I would grow up and learn to fear better things, but when your six dead guys in your bedroom fit the bill nicely.
October 3rd: Destroyah
God damn it, Godzilla monsters just keep getting weirder. Destroyah (which cleverly stands for "Destroyer") is from Godzilla vs. Destroyah made in 1995. Destroyah is a mutated crustacean of some sort that, over the course of the film, pretty much grows into this giant bat-winged demon before the credits roll. So he's a big Satanic Unicorn Crab that likes to beat up Godzilla. Thank you Japan. Thank you so very much.
October 2nd: The Mindflayer
I may not be the biggest Dungeons & Dragons fan (or even a fan at all), but I have to give respect to a race of evil wizards that are pretty much evil octopus men who want to eat your brain. I give respect to the strangest things, really.
October 1st: Tetsuo: The Iron Man
If you haven't seen this particularly bad ass horror movie from Japan (made in the 1980's) you haven't lived. Any film where the main character becomes afflicted with a disease that turns his body into machinery is at least interesting. Any film where someone gets killed by being assaulted by a drill-equipped genitalia...that's something special.
For those of you in need of more Halloween-like content, here are some links to older articles most definitely written in the Halloween spirit:
Copyright 2006 jared von hindman, except for those Guild Wars images which are used here for comparison purposes and are the property of NCSoft. If you're NCsoft, please don't sue. Really.
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