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 Welcome to the my strange art page.  The art might be strange to some, but at this point the term seems to have lost all meaning.  Enjoy!  Don't forget:  Everything is for sale.  The site's not about money but if you want one of these, chances are you can have it for a small amount of coin.

 

 

February 22nd: I'm still crazy & setting up my new life on my own. It's another excuse for lack of updates, but it's a pretty good one. In the meantime:

 

 

Also, I've fallen behind telling you about articles for Dungeons & Dragons! Check these out:

HEROES OF THE FEY, GONE WILD!

 

FEARS FOR TIERS!

 

DATING IN DUNGEONS & DRAGONS!

 

 

December 5th: No Art, but still.

 

 

November 4th: My rebirth is slow, but spectacular.

 

October 31st: Happy Halloween! More to come as I rise from the ashes, like a pumpkin-flavoured phoenix. Until then enjoy:

 

These 3 pieces go with a new D&D Outsider article of mine that went live today. Click HERE to read, you big d20 nerd!

 

 

 

In other geeky news, this is the coolest thing ever. Well, maybe not. If you read my stuff on Google Plus (or Twitter, since I can't stop talking about it), I apologize for the incessant triple-share.

 

 

 

August 9th: Jeez, do I have issue. Sorry about the Silence and thanks for the concern, friends and fans. For now, please enjoy this:

 

I'm a bit of a Google+ whore these days and somehow I've started a Blog over there. Expect more stuff soon, but real life is kicking my butt these days. Being crazy helps, but not as much as it should.  Heck, why not have some other stuff now?

 

 

 

 

 

Not judge me. If you had to paint something as a Birthday present for someone who does Nazi tours in Berlin, you'd think of this too.

April 27th: Another Update? So Soon?

Rest in Peace, Dwayne McDuffie.

Fun Fact: I was a fan in Junior High of Dwayne McDuffie. Sure, his comics were for African Americans but he also tapped into something Comic Books didn't have for decades: He created a world where people were still amazed to see someone fly. In most comic book universes, that really can't be said. Milestone, you are missed.

 

Windswept SplatterSkeleton. Not a favorite but I needed a buffer between a McDuffie tribute and the horror that is the next image.

 

 

For Dave Chalker at Critical Hits....The SquareWolf. While I was touring about last year, I'd ask everyone what their "worst" roleplaying experience was. Dave won with this:

 "We were playing Vampire and tried to use the elevator. When the door opened, the Storyteller informed us we couldn't get on because there was a werewolf riding it already. He wasn't attacking us so we ask "Can we get into the elevator?" The Storyteller: NO, the Werewolf takes up every square inch of the elevator."

And thus, the legend of the SquareWolf was born. Thanks Dave.

 

 

Hey look, another article for Dungeons & Dragons! Click the link above and look below for bigger versions of the paintings featured therein. Hmm. That sounds grammatically wrong but I'll stick with it. Somehow.

 

 

In the middle of the night, sometimes I want a puppy.

 

"Oni OverFlow"

...and here are two paintings I don't have much faith in, both done for whims & friends.

 

 

 April 20th: Dear God, I'm still alive.

Happy Easter Dungeons & Dragons!

 

 

Enjoy some Art Rejected from a Secret Dungeons & Dragons Project:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'd say more but wait until you see where the ones that weren't rejected ended up. It's classy. Trust me.

 

Also thank you everyone who's been worried about what's going down with me. I'm on the upswing & working like a fiend, which is good news. In related news: I keep promising to finish the Articles but whenever I do my computer breaks (3 times now). I officially feel Jinxed. Wish me luck on attempt number four.

 

February 14th: V-Day, 2011.  Have some Art, loyal folks!

Happy V-Day.

What the heck are these? Mayhap you should click HERE to find out!

 

I did a bunch of joke art (like the above) for something called Refuge in Audacity by Logan Bonner.

Click HERE to check it out (with full image gallery with over a dozen other pieces by me...some with crayon & my leg.) 

Troy & Bull, picture above, is (are?) for a book about D&D Worldbreakers by the once & future King Quinn. More on that soon.

 

Assorted Art: Secret of Mana Girlfriend Expulsion, Angry DM, Sweet Tooth Speed Ink #244

 

 

Oh and finally, I never linked to the latest article I did for Dungeons & Dragons.

CLICK HERE to check it out. 

 

PS: Sorry for all the delays and drama. I keep thinking I'm better & on track and then slipping up. Here's hoping things really are back to normal, true believer!

 

January 7th:  I am Alive.  Sort of. 

Thank you all for the help.  The Hospital doom is (mostly) behind us & multiple technical issues have been slain, stripped of edible meat, & made into trophies for my wall.  More or less.  Work is coming at a rapid pace and my apologies on the radio silence.  When 2 computers implode one after the other, you start trying to avoid the internet.  I'll work on that.  In more positive news: Real Update Next Week!  You were Warned!

 

December 6th: I am in Trouble. Cash in Today!

 

Link removed because I'm feeling much better.

 

December 2nd: D&D Geekery, I'm still looney.

 

Since I can never escape the shadow of Gamma World, here's a fun little project my addiction to nerd research earned me a place in:

 

Click the Pic above to enjoy the Grand Junkulator or click HERE to read an article I wrote explaining why it's awesome. And Hilarious.

Above are a few quick doodles I did for the Critical Hits crews & their mad junk pile, some of which got used. Me? I share everything. It's a flaw.

 

In other news, another article of mine got published on the Dungeons & Dragons Site: Click the Goofy Mascot Below to read on....

 

 

I'm allowed to RePost my own art that's featured over there so enjoy a few things you might have missed if you don't browse the D&D website regularly.

 

All 3 of the above appeared in different Gamma World articles...the first is a particular favorite while the last was for a certain author who wrote her confessions as a part-time Harry Potter enthusiast or something. It's so hard to keep track. (PS: Shelly is pretty nice in person, even if we did have an altercation involver her ugly baby.)

 

 

Finally: I suck.  Sometimes when people buy stuff it falls through the cracks, I forget about it, or a certain Older Woman business manager thought she mailed it out and, well, totally didn't.  FYI, he bought the original DDM painting I did of the Dangerous Delves Unicorn last year.  It's been 2 months of hunting down tracking numbers and me bribing him with bonus Art because of the mix-up. I share this now because, well, blah. Above is the "Envelope Art" a tradition of mine for years now. The sad part? The Unicorn may actually be lost..I only doodled that to extra-apologize for why the Art hadn't gotten there. I may be over-sharing, but so be it.  In the end I think I've learned that Unicorns aren't to be trusted. 

 

November 23rd: Dear God are you surprised I'm flakey these days? My apologies for the teaser links, I'll fix that shortly. Until then, have some Art before another breakdown/episode swallows me whole.

 

Art I did for my Old Lady's Band, Eatus Fetus. (It's awesome and I'm building/painting them a site right now)

Here are a few Gamma World Cartoons/Doodles you most likely haven't seen yet.

 

Dave Chalker of Critical Hits traded Art for Gas Money which allowed me to get to DragonCon this year. Below are some of the early experiments. 

That one in the middle is from something else.  But you know what? Symmetry demands I leave it there.

 

Quinn of Worldbreaker fame asked me to paint up a Troll Gladiator King. I did my best.

 

 

 

Halloween 2010:  Clyde the Pumpkin! (Click to Enlarge)

 

Keep watching the main page. 6 Reviews, all for you to enjoy by the Witching Hour on Halloween.  And remember, email me your Halloween costumes (as in past years) and I'll paint it up!  Sorry for the slackery this year folks, it pisses me off more than you. Still, Articles! Stay tuned!

 

October 18th: Jared has gone a little crazy as of late. Halloween hasn't been canceled, but I'm still getting my head on straight.  In the meantime, here's another thing for the geek folks:

  

If you're not into Gamma World I suggest still giving it a read. I wasn't a huge fan until someone tricked me into checking it out.

 

September 29th: Dungeons & Dragons: Lords of Madness!

Hey Freakshows! Click the link to see 30 paintings I did for Wizards celebrating/mocking their new set of plastic monstrosities!  Also, enjoy the image below afterwards.  It's the Fireblade Efreet without the burn page on top of him.  That's right, I burned my Dungeon Master's Guide in the name of art. Blasphemy in some circles, apparently.

 

 

By the way, several new articles are underway (some not even about D&D if you can believe it) because Halloween is right around the corner. I know I've been busy which means slacking on writing for the site but I mean to fix that. I'm not exactly sure what I'll be doing for Halloween this year given my schedule, but rest assured I will, at the very least, continue the tradition of painting whatever Halloween costume you guys send me.  Stay Tuned!

 

September 18th: Go Go Gadget Annihilation!

In my Inspector Gadget World, the Inspector died in an unfortunate exploding message accident and his cybernetic body is being piloted by his tech-savvy niece, Penny.  It makes a lot of sense, really.  Think about it: In the old cartoons didn't Penny unravel the plot & then just send her Uncle in like a tactical (in an unconventional sense) nuke?  Dr. Claw in my world isn't so much a villain as he is a malfunction/virus in the Gadget cyberware...sabotaging the forces of good from within whenever Gadget sleeps. Since we're talking cyberpunk here, Gadget's hand transmogrifies into the iconic Claw of the good Doctor and...yeah, I'm rambling about my Inspector Gadget Fan Fiction/Re-Imagining.  I'll...stop that.  My apologies.

 

Since I never go anywhere without at least basic art supplies, all the above (with the exception of Mister Flame in the middle) were done from inside the Think Geek offices, one of the stops on my US Tour.  While there I realized that I shouldn't draw any Robots, Monkey, or Lovecraftian Horrors, since nods to those things were everywhere and it would have felt like pandering. As such, check out the last image: That's right, I decided to combine all things into the Clockwork Timmy That Shall Not Be Named. 

 

 

September 11th: Jared is Back...but doesn't have a proper update for you.

Did the Breasts on the main page not distract you enough?

 (Images of Breasts, naturally, come in pairs)

Dear God I love meeting fans sometime.


Seriously though, I have so much to share and while I've been Twittering about it (Yes I'm on Twitter & Yes I feel Guilty enough about it to not link to my Tweetery), a real update with lots of art & pictures is soon to come. Problem is I have a couple of big D&D deadlines looming in the next 4 days and paying gigs trump my desire to give you a play by play of my misadventures. Thanks for all the support and stay tuned! Your regularly scheduled madness will continue sooner than you think.

 

 

August 15th: Jared is still out.  He's also doing art for hooters girls:

 

                                    
 Obviously, Jared is having a terrible time in the States.


More on his adventures soon.  In the meantime, his business-gnome/wife made a video combining bad taste, pro-choice sensibilites, & Google Image search. 
Please enjoy her band Eatus Fetus and their first music video: Grenades Tied to Babies.  If you like it, you can "friend" them on MySpace or "like" them on Facebook.

 

August 2nd:  Hi there.  Things have been really weird lately.  Awesome, but weird.  In a nutshell, I'm about to have a big American vacation/tour/work holiday.  Tomorrow my plane takes off for GenCon 2010, in Indy which should be killer.  If you're there, look me up...two relevant images below might help.  After that I've got some mild touring to do before I travel to Atlanta, to be the low man on the celebrity guest totem pole at Dragon Con 2010 (Click Here).  No, really....I got invited to be one of their guests and all that.  Pretty crazy.  The downside to this is that I won't be able to regularly update until the 2nd week of September.  Sad, I know.  On the flipside, if you're a Convention Junkie you won't miss out.  For the rest of the internet, please enjoy a flood of content, pretty much everything I've painted as of late that's fit for sharing. 

Oh and one more thing: Thanks guys & girls.  There's no way I could pull this off without weirdos like you.  Just saying.

 

Hey! I wrote another D&D Outsider Article, this time about pants and how to lie with plastic elves:

And here's some Art from that Article:

In other D&D Content News, Click HERE to read a D&D Alumni Article, that's all about terrible rules of yesteryear.  You'll find 3 cartoons I did about the infamous adventure "Tomb of Horrors".  Here are a few extras I made that got rejected/couldn't be used.  Even if you don't play Dungeons & Dragons, I recommend picking up an old copy just to read.  If you don't start laughing while banging your head against the wall, I'll be mightily surprised.

These next 3 have nothing to do with D&D.  Just thought I'd let you know.

 

 

 

If you can identify the D&D Monster below without looking at the file name, you most likely were good at "Where's Waldo?" books.

 

 

I'm not sure if I should post the next two paintings.  Oh well.

 

 

This is Teaser Art for a project I collaborated on. I'll say no more.

 

 

I've linked to Mike Shea's Book many times already, but I swore eventually I'd post up more Art that's inside it's lovely pages.  Enjoy a final peek.

Finally...this is an Old Painting but I turned it into an advertisement for something I'll be a part of at GenCon.

Basically I made a joke about a Geeky Bachelor Party and it snowballed into me talking to the manager of Hooters getting permission for a bunch of nerds to roll dice.  Life is weird.  See you there, if you're so inclined.

Enjoy 2 attempts at Pirate Fish.  (The 2nd pleases me little so I punish it into thumbnail form)

 

 

 

July 21st: My Kobold Canvas is 3 Feet Wide.

 

Here's a Commission a very patient person asked me to do for them.

It's tentatively titled "Kobold Kraftwerkz" because henchlizards can't spell, apparently.

 

 

July 20th: Wonderella, That Cool DM Book, & Obsidian Portal. Stuff, yes?

 

If you haven't read the webcomic Wonderella, you're missing out.  Also, you probably don't get much of what the heck I painted above. Let's move on.

 

Above you'll find an image I painted for Mike Shea's super Cool book that you can buy by CLICKING HERE YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. ahem.  Moving on:

 

The cool folks at Obsidian Portal were looking into if I could maybe make some people happy by painting Banners/Stuff for their Campaigns.  One random FaceBook Contest later and here's some of the stuff I came up with.

 

 

 

 

 

If you're curious about the Obsidian Portal stuff, I recommend clicking to this secret page HERE where I chat a bit more about these & also link to the individual campaigns from which they were derived. 

 

July 12th:  Have some Random DDM Art. If you play the game (or D&D in some cases) you'll find a few of these funny. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

July 8th:  Sly Flourish/Mike Shea's Book Goes Live. 

Why should you care?  Because I did not only the cover but also all the art inside it.  While I'll post the contents up on the site soon, until then the only way to see it is buy the damn thing. Which you should, because it has pretty pictures.

 

I'm kinda proud how that came out.  Mike gave me complete freedom to do what I want and if there's one thing all D&D Artist want to do their version of the classic "Stupid Player Characters stealing the Gem from the Demonic Idol" drawing on the 1st edition Player's Handbook.  Think I'm joking?  The D&D Comic book that comes out next month has the same damn idol.  Hackmaster shows the moment that happens before the cover and several other editions of D&D have revamps of the thing.  So yeah, this was my spin on it.  In case you didn't know what the original looked like, here it is (and is the property of the D&D People and shown here only for comparison purpose):

So now you know and that's half the battle. 

 

Click HERE for More Info on buying the book!

 

PS: Sorry for the slow updates these days guys.  I warned you, the Art Crash was to balance out secret corporate projects.  I'll keep you informed.  Also, if you're going to GenCon drop me a line.  I'll be there geeking it up, signing things at the DungeonCrawler book (at least), and pretty much trying to pretend I haven't acclimated to Europe as much as I have. 

 

July 3rd:  A couple of things.  Corporate & Commission work swallows me whole, once again.

 

D&D Miniature Players love and hate the Solamith.  This is the 8th time I've had to paint him?

 

This is part of a Get Well Card.  Click HERE to give Chris your well wishes.

 

Also you might have noticed the Link on the main page (and in the last entry).  Here's the Art that went along with that article. Enjoy!

 

 

 

In Fact, I've done a lot of Art for D&D this month.  Click Here and Here if you're interested.

 

June 28th: I'm back to Corporate work (and Weekly Updates until late August) but in the meantime, here's a Article.  It's D&D Related but fans of my stuff should still get a kick out of it.  I mean, really, who else gets paid to talk about Dwarves who sing about Genocide? Enjoy:

 

The above is a Canvas piece I did as the Prize for DDM championship, where the winner got his warband immortalized in Paint.  I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.  I don't work on Canvas as often as I should but this reminds me that it's worth it sometimes.

 

This isn't technically Art, but it amused me enough...I doodle on shipping boxes that my paintings go out in (when folks buy them, etc) and the image above appeared on an Aboleth package.  They were amused and, well, I figured I'd share here as well.  (You can find a few more of these, also D&D related, at the very bottom of the Art Crash Page, if you're brave enough to scroll down far enough.)

 

The Week of June 24th: The Art Crash Is Over.  Check it out.

 

The Week of June 14th:  We Have Begun the Art Crash!

 

The Week of June 7th:

 

June 7th:  Doomforge Bladeshrike?  The hell?

A French-Canadian friend randomly asked me what a Blade Barrier Golem would look like.  After looking up what a Blade Barrier was, this came to mind.

 

June 6th:  Wrong Month for Robot Day.  No really, I got confused and thought it was in June.

 

June 4th: Old Commissions.  Nerd things ahoy!

"Hey, will you Paint how my Elf Cleric Died?"

 

"Hey, will you paint my D&D Party?"

(Please note the Happy Sunblade +2 and the Throwing Shield)

 

This ticket is redeemable for SOMETHING awesome (that I can't reveal) and is the grand prize at a tournament coming up. 

For the uninitiated, "Worgs" are a D&D monster that may or may not be wolf like.  And Blue.  Maybe.  Or Not.

 

...and this is what happens when you have a giant insect in Monsterpocalypse with an ability called "Juggernaut". 

 

June 2nd:  A New Art Crash is coming.  In Case you missed it on the Main Page:

 

Also, this is Trevor, the Community manager of D&D.  Naturally, I assume he manages with Violence.

Good times.  In slightly related news, some of my Art is (yet again) starting to show up on the D&D website.  I just got permission to cross-post all my old D&D Projects here, so bear with me as I create some sort of "Geek Hub" section on the site.  Lord knows it's been a focal topic in the last year, for better or for worse.  More soon.  I mean, really.  Art Crash.  It's the Cadillac of the site, the Hadoken of Head Injury Theater.  Keep watching the skies, soon it will be upon us.

 

May 30th:  Things are going great.  Daily updates will start up again soon (Next Week) most likely in the form of an Art Crash.  It's been too long, really.  Site will get a bit of a revamp (or at least a Geek Hub where all the D&D/MonPoc/DungeonCrawler stuff can all go) and, well, fun stuff.  I also found out from Wizards that once they publish my stuff in Dragon Magazine, I can cross-post it over here when the issue gets Archived.  So if you haven't seen the 90+ paintings I've done for them, expect to soon.

 

If you wrote to me because you were worried about some of the stuff I'm saying between the lines as of late (or openly, if you're into those social networking sites), thanks for the concern.  I'm fine, really.  I just had a Dramatic week and despite my hatred of psychology, I have found myself in its soft, embracing touch.  Interesting side-effect though:  I've done more "Business" stuff in the past week than I have in the past 2 years.  "Business" is the term for anything having to do with my Art that has nothing to do with Art.  It's why the Cafe Press store hasn't been updated since 2006 and why I have hundreds of unanswered emails in my inbox.  I'm fixing all of that but...it's weird.  Expect a detailed account of what's been going down once the NEED to deal with Business-Stuff fades a bit.

 

While I hate talking about money, there will be another fundraiser.  Art Crash where I paint all your requests and you can buy the original on the cheap?  Will I sell another box of mystery paintings?  Who knows.  I will say this though, if you can't wait I posted THIS a few days ago as a signal flare to the community that got me into the big time.   That's NOT my big fundraiser, but really it's a "If you want one of these, I have them" kind of cry for help thing.  And dear God, I hadn't realized how much Art I've done for Wizards (mostly last year) until I saw it all in one place.  And there's more on the way.

 

 

May 26th-May 28th:  I'm busy again, but until regular daily updates, enjoy some pictures I did for MonCon!  (The city is Tulsa and the state is Oklahoma, if you were curious)

 

 

May 25th: New Medication makes Sane Jared forget to update.  Have some sketches, because I'm a bit behind the times.

Over on Newgrounds, there's a Girlchan Contest.  This was my entry.

A page from my sketchbook.  Years ago, if you won a tournament of DDM, Wizards of the Coast would let the winner design a miniature for a future set.  This was my goofy "What If" brainstorm.  And yes, I like toys that help carry around my other toys.

 

Please Don't Ask.

 

And just a reminder....it's been months now and I'm still updating my Twitter a few times each day. 

And usually with much more interesting things than what I ate for breakfast. 

Usually. 

 

 

May 20th Bonus: Did you know my D&D T-shirts came out? 

No, really.  The funniest thing is that they're both designs from my "Dangerous Delves Doodles" which was something I did one weekend on a whim but that whim was what got the whole ball rolling and why R.A. Salvatore paid my rent last year.  Check out the Art I sold to D&D, Which they Contracted out to a 3rd Party, who most likely contracted out their Print Orders, who inadvertently printed some of my stuff. 

Click Here and Here.

 

May 20th: MonCon 2010 is this weekend. 

I've pimped it a few times because A) I like the any plastic game involving Giant Monsters and B) they hired me to do a TON of Art for them.  The only stipulation was that I don't post any of the Artwork early so they can debut it at the convention.  In exchange for this, I'll be getting some plastic Mole People.  No, really.  Part of my fee was negotiated to included a Giant Two-Headed Mole Monster. Life is Weird.

 

PS: The above logo design was my 1st Attempt...I did a TON more and I'll post them all on Monday.  Until then....

 

 

May 19th: A Prelude.  Or, a Monsterpocalypse Comic you won't find funny if you don't play the game but I share EVERYTHING.

To unpack that:  In the game Monsterpocalypse there is a whole faction of giant apes.  One type is call a "Stealth Ape" and the thing is bigger than a truck, wears 1930's style football armor combined with aviator goggles.....and is apparently incredibly good at infiltration.  Hence the, well, you get it. 

 

May 17th:  Still having fun with Deadlines, here's some more Art!

Who doesn't like Dr. Insano & Son?

Fear the power of Weaponized Christianity.  (More Press Start Fan Art)

 

May 13th until Um...Next Monday?  I'm Crazy Busy.  Enjoy some Kingdom of Loathing Art, Monsterpocalypse Errata Commentary, and some Press Start Tribute Art. (Because Calling it Fan Art takes me too far back to my roots.)

 

Kingdom of Loathing is a great game and it's where I got started...doing goofy Forum Art for honor and in-game money.  Seriously, 7 years ago I was making a fortune painting goofy monsters extrapolated from Stick Figure Art.  No joke.  But I digress.  If you've played the game for any amount of time, you should recognize the above and below, they're low-level adventures and, well, they bring me joy. 

It's funny, but this one took forever to do (about 4 layers of shading)...though I think my work pace might have been affected by the amount of Mojito in my bloodstream and the inherent shame of doing professional watercolors of a character wearing something called an "Asshat".  (Protip From Kingdom of Loathing: If you beat up homeless people, they will eventually drop "Bum Cheeks" as loot.  Craft two Bum Cheeks together to make the illustrious and ever stylish Ass Hat.)


Flashback to 2004: I have Drawn that particular Character before.  Man, I really used to suck (a lot more than I do now).  Check it out:

 

Literally the 3rd or 4th thing ever uploaded to the site. Creepy.

 

And now, for some Fan Art.  I mean Tribute Art.  You, um...know what I mean.

I am a fan of Ed Glaser and his funtime happy products.  Check him out by clicking HERE.  His Press Start film actually entertains folks who don't know crap about video games (no joke, my wife loved it and hasn't played anything beyond Farmville), he knows about the Bollywood Nightmare on Elmstreet, and he produced the Turkish Rambo DVD.  Life is good; check him out if you're so inclined.

 

Finally:  New Rules make the Fire Kami a Sad Panda.

If you play a collectible competitive game, then you might understand what it means when I say that the new Monsterpocalypse Errata makes me sad.  At least when Dungeons & Dragons changes something you don't have to regret buying a bunch of something on eBay.  But I digress because, well, it's too geeky to really talk about at length. 

 

May 12th:  Kingdom of Loathing: Ed the Undying!

If you haven't been playing Kingdom of Loathing, shame on you and your wretched Farmville.

 

 

 

May 11th: Team Covenant's Phoenix...or, well, "A Phoenix", take your pick.

 

Also, when I have a bad day, I feel painting this kind of thing helps.

The "Sand Worm of Self Defeat" is my Nemesis.  Just saying.

 

May 10th:  The Yeti is displeased.

 

May 9th: Less cute, but still Prince Lotor

 

May 8th: Prince Lotor from Voltron Demands your Adorable Obedience!

May 7th:  My Monsterpocalypse Creature Goes Great with Butter.

May 6th:  Monsterpocalypse:  Of Course I'm painting it again.  I can't help it.

 

May 5th:  I drew these while Drinking Heavily at a party this weekend.  My apologies.

 

 

 

 

May 4th and before:  When Jared gets depressed, he neglects the website.  Enjoy lots of Make-Up Art while I hide my Emo Drama and despair from most of you.

Red Baron Fun, Mister Freeze, Dragon Doodle on Train in 10 minutes, Spiral Hulk

 

April 30th:  But who will protect US from the Environment?

This isn't a statement against the EPA, I swear.  I just saw their logo for the first time today and, well, yeah.  Thus the above.

 

April 29th:  I think it can hear you, Ray.

 

April 28th:  Fear my Rocket Fist!

 

April 27th:  Boobquake: Aftershocks

Hope you guys enjoyed BoobQuake.  Lord knows I did.

(Click HERE if you don't know what you missed.)

April 26th:  MonCon 2010:  Get Crushed!

This is one of the many, many things I did for Team Covenant's MonCon, the first Monsterpocalypse-centric convention.  Wish I could make it, but my trips to the states this year are limited.  That said click HERE to find out more.  The above painting by the by the Tulsa skyline with the addition of a "Tower of Corruption" from the game that I previously mentioned, in case you were curious.  More MonCon art as the time creeps closer.

 

Oh and yes, this was pretty much a Rotoscope job.  For those not in the know, "Rotoscope" is the professional term Disney created to replace the word "Tracing".  I misuse it by referring to anything I do on a printed-out-photograph as Rotoscope, but at least I'm honest.  You shouldn't rely on this kind of stuff, but it is fun from time to time.  Just don't lie and say you did the whole thing.  The Art Forum police will curb stomp you. 

 

April 24th: (It's official, no updates on Sundays, I'm too lazy and, um, Church is too demanding?  Do you buy that?) 

Rolling Stone, the Shardmind Barbarian once again, this time with more watercolor than acrylic.  I still used Day-Glo Pink, which doesn't scan at all.  Seriously, both these paintings are literally OFFENSIVELY pink.  Let me prove it by disproving yesterday's theory and posting a photograph of the above. 

Terrible picture, but you see what I mean?  This Pink is MONSTROUS, but I keep ignoring it because it just can't be scanned.  But I digress.  For the Dungeons & Dragons folks out there, this character was something I made to show folks that a) Joke Characters are Always Fun and B) You shouldn't let Game Optimization get in the way of your fun.  There's no way to Quantify some things, no matter how many threads you start on RPG discussion boards.  I really should save this Gamer Geek Rant for the Blog or something, but in a nutshell:  I hate reading how some Character Races are terrible at and should never play certain Character Classes.  2 points:  Unlike older editions, you don't get penalties for playing certain races...races only offer benefits.  That doesn't mean if you don't have that benefit it's a penalty.  I dare say it's RPG Racial Profiling. Secondly:  You really can't quantify the value of playing something people don't expect.  In the case of Rolling Stone, few DMs know how to deal with a Teleporting Telepathic avalanche of magic rocks with a battle axe sticking out of it.  Just my 2 cents.  Carry on as you were.

 

April 23rd:  Rolling Stone, Shardmind Barbarian

Done in Day-Glo Pink acrylic (mostly) which I found out doesn't scan too well.  Need to read up on the magic of Day-Glo colors because none of them show up on my scanner right.  My theory at the moment is that their annoying brightness comes from voodoo that can't be captured by film.  That's just a theory.  That's obviously wrong but who am I to not stick to my guns?

 

 

April 22nd:  Commission for Uncle Punchy on Canvas

Photo, because it's too big for my Scanner.

 

 

April 21st:  Random Inkjob on Graph Paper (Don't ask)

 

April 20th:  Old Monsterpocalypse Mucustos painting (as seen on Team Covenant)

Done in five minutes and somehow looking so much cooler in Negative.

 

April 18th-19th:  Kaiju & Coffee, a Monsterpocalypse Thing

 

Same linework for both...I scanned in the original sketch, printed it out and painted both of them.  For kicks, I assume.

 

 

April 17th:  Voltron Assemble!

 

April 16th:  Drunken Legend of Zelda Art?  Shocking!

 

April 15th:  5 Minute Galactus (Not Good, but I share all the same for the sake of sharing speed experiments)

 

 

April 14th:  Using my Disney Stationary in the Worst Possible Way?  Maybe.

 

April  13th:  Kinda Not Safe for Work, but, well, I post everything.  Apologies to Parents.

Seriously.  I've had this thing lying around for ages and, well, yeah.  I still illustrate Kid's Books, right Mista Publisher?  Right?  Hello?

:sigh:

 

April  12th: There was no 11th, remember?

 

April  10th:  There's a party at my house and this is on my front door.

If you know where I live, you're invited to come inside.  My pants.

Only...yeah.  Nevermind.  That came out wrong.  (In my pants.)

 

 

April 9th:  I'm....not going to say anything about the whole Pope thing.  Enjoy the BatPope.

 

April 8th:  Fun with those New Pens

 

April 7th:  Chewbacca does not approve of being the subject to experimental Doodles

I painted this in a shop called Manufactum yesterday using some special Demo Pens on a sketchbook I had with me.  Japanese Rice-Tipped Calligraphy Pens are magical, magical things, though I think the lady in the shop watching me do this did not approve.  Nor was she interested in watching Chewie Punch it.

 

 

April 6th:  Drunken Goblin Speed Art

 

April 5th:  Worst Super Hero I can Think of

My only regret is not thinking of including a 1984 "Big Brother is Watching you" poster in there.  Still, I stand by my RetCon nods.

 

April 4th:  An Easter Comic (& the Comic Page updated for the first time this year because of it!)

 

 

April 3rd:  Drunken Art Returns:  My Poker Face

Done in under 5 minutes with friends and many Mojitos.  I am not proud, but it's been a while since I've shared a piece of Drunken Art.

 

 

April 2nd:  A couple of Random Inkjobs

Farmvillainy, Anglerfish Monster #2,304, potentially a Monsterpocalypse Reference

 

April 1st:  Despite my enthusiasm, I really try to avoid April Fool's Day.   Enjoy Steamboat Willy.

 

March 31st:  Clippy turns to the Dark Side.

 

March 30th:  Grell (not on Fire)

 

 

March 29th (There was no 28th, remember?):  Fun with Demon Zombies on Fire

Wondering what's this thing about?  Click HERE to see what this Guest art was for.

 

 

 

March 27th:  Found out about a friend's birthday...she's not allowed to know I painted her gift in 3 minutes.  Like, unless she reads the site.  Crap.

(She has a thing for snails.  Don't ask.)

 

 

March 26th:  Gift Art that Might show up elsewhere or "The Great Illithid of Oz"

 

March 25th:  "Don't Make me Daze a Bitch"

 

 

March 24th:  What the Hell is Vorgax?  This is Vorgax.

 

 

March 23rd:  My Girlfriend gave me Harpies.

Seriously.  Find out why by clicking HERE.   In a nutshell:  The joy of geeky guest art.

 

March 22nd:  Hordak vs. Apocalypse, the hell?

When you start wanting to talk about how freaking similar a She-Ra villain was to an X-man villain, you know you're in some geeky territory.  Don't know why it came to me, but I noticed the other day that both Hordak & Apocalypse have the same exact super power, similar fashion sense, keep parallel company (freaks not as cool as they are), and even had similar philosophies in their early careers.  Then I realized no one should be that much of a dork so I'd vent by painting them out of my system.  And apparently, so I'm told, Hordak is one year OLDER than Apocalypse...so similar and they came out so close to one another?  Spooky.  But I'm done talking about it, it's embarrassing to spontaneously notice and explore this kind of thing.  Mental Exercise?  Not so much.  Well, not really.

 

March 20th-21st:  Some weekend fodder.

The Bubble Hopper, A Dark Chef Rising

 

March 19th:  Bootlegging your art is the best form of flattery, right?

It's not as bad as I imply

 

March 18th:  Did I really forget to upload this?

 

 

March 17th:  I hunt the Undead who wander these halls...

March 16th:  Echidna, Mother of Monsters

 

 

vMarch 15th:  A Wasted Digi-Day.

I'm posting these other digital art experiments/learning processes here a little early because while I have lots to do, I accidentally spent the whole day playing with digital art options.  Progress was made but...yeah.  Dear God some of this is terrible but I share because it's hilarious. 

 

 

 

vMarch 14th:  I suck at Digital Art.  (Lazy Sunday)

So yeah.  The other week I had an extended conversation with a Graphic Design student where I pretty much said "Hey, I can do in a couple minutes what digital guys take an hour to do."  As true as that (might) be, the opposite is definitely true, made more interesting by the fact that I'm getting corporate interest here and there and my lack of digital prowess is....well, it's coming to bite me right in the patoosh.  I've had a Wacom Tablet for ages (a gift from a fan in 2006)...I've never really used it.  Today I sat down, installed the drivers and....GOD I suck.    If anyone out there has any advice or knows a good place to look for tutorials, it'd be golden.  Not that I want to do digital all the time...I just know that having the option would be nice as hell.  Right now my problem is having consistent/confident lines, having to look in one direction while I draw in another, and I really don't quite get how to do Layers without being retarded.  :sigh:  It really does feel like starting over.

Oh and here's the thing above (The Uberpope from my card game in case you were curious) without all the snazzy texture filters of cheatery. 

 

 

vMarch 13th:  Totally Random art for a friend's character

 

 

 

vMarch 12th:  I stand corrected.  Street Fighter 4:  Now with Super Lubricant Man:  Hakan

Capcom image for comparison:

Yes, the dripping stuff there is lubricant.  Seriously.

His name is Hakan, he's a Turkish Wrestler who says creepy things about how pretty his daughters are, and he attacks with implied rape.  Check it out  on Youtube, while it lasts by clicking HERE.

 

 

vMarch 11th:  Why does Streetfighter 2 look like it hasn't changed since I was 12?

 

March 10th: My Gargoyle Gets great reception.

 

vMarch 9th:  With daily updates, I really have problems with self control.  For example, I'm posting this like....18 hours early?  Screw it let's pretend it's Tuesday already and enjoy a visit from our Big Sister.

I'm sure I'll get the Video Game Character bug out of my system eventually.  Until then, enjoy the ride.

 

March 8th:  DC Alphabet Loser Losers.

If you follow me on Twitter, you might have noticed my impromptu contest where I offered the original painting from the alphabet if someone could name the character I missed before I finished painting him.  Took me less than an hour but I got a bunch of suggestions, some of which I HATE not putting in the alphabet.  Here's a consolation prize to 3 of the most frequent guessers.  These are all real characters and...well, they're amazing.  For full explanations, scroll to the bottom of the DC Alphabet.

The Face, Jackanapes, Killer Moth

 

In other news, the Blog Updated. 

(I figured if I'm going to update daily here I might as well give you a heads up when that oddity happens)

 

March 7th:  DC Alphabet, a correction.

I really can't believe I forgot about this guy when I made the alphabet.  (He replaces C'est Hay, obviously)

Don't blame me.  Blame DC Comics.  (Click here for More info!)

 

 

March 6th:  Is that a flaming Bum?

 

 

March 5th:  Lazy Friday, so enjoy some old stuff that never got scanned in until today.

Too Delicious to Catch, Book-Burning Clown, Kang & Kodos (leftover from Halloween, I think)

 

March 4th: The DC Alphabet of Shame.  It's about freaking time.

 

 

 

March 3rd:  Bionic Commando!

 

March 2nd:  DungeonCrawler!  That game I did art for last year?  It launched yesterday!

Of course, when I've mentioned it on the site in the past, I was calling it something else, as my contract told me to never mention it by name until the launch date.  That said check it out:

Check out the gallery by all means.  I did a decent-size chunk of art for them and some of it I'm really proud of. 

 

 

March 1st:  Daily Updates Begin.  If I can get the habit back, good times!  (Remember, last time I did it for what, 2 years?  It's been a while, I confess.)

Morpher Stomp!  Part of the joy of my Monsterpocalypse collection.

 

By the by, have you seen this article up on Team Covenant?  It explains, sort of, how I paint.  I think.  Maybe.

 Part 2 should be up later this week!

 

 

 

 

February 24th:  Stuff for Newgrounds?  Sort of.  (Not really, at all)

Big Daddy's Day, ADAM Hide & Seek, Bioshock Patience, Possessor, 3-Minute Robot, Jungle Crab Lurker

(I recently did another stint of Newgrounds.com art and I'm happy to say something of mine made it to the front page.  It was a 5-year-old painting of mine and by the time you read this it'll be off the front page but so be it.  Newgrounds may be the only website that I visited regularly 10 years ago that I'm still visiting today.  Weird, right.)

Edit:  Well, nevermind.  I made Front Page again on Newgrounds with Big Daddy's Day.  Huzzah?

 

February 18th:  Daily Updates on the way.

If you've been checking out the blog, you already know I have some issues with being TOO productive these days.  Lots of projects underway.  Between the Blog and Twitter, I keep chattering about them something fierce.  March will mark the Beginning of Almost Daily updates, something I haven't done for 2 years in any regular capacity.  So...hurrah.  Check out some Art:

 

Decker [The bad guy from Nightbreed on Canvas with Zipper & Buttons] (Sold), Zor-Magna Symmetry, MudMen Return, A very Aberrant Valentine's Day (now highlighted on the Dungeons & Dragons website), and 3 paintings of kids I forgot to paint for Halloween.

 

Fun with Triangle-Shaped Canvases and the Legend of Zelda:  Great to design, not totally happy with the results.

Terrible picture but you get the idea.  I'm a dork who made a Triforce.

Oh and remember this?  Last week to make a bid.  You guys have gone far beyond what I was expecting...Really.  You're awesome.  But again:  Last chance.  Bidding will end next Monday the 22nd to make room for something else kinda weird like this.

Good times.

 

And yes, I'm a chatty bitch on this thing.  I still feel dirty about it:

 

 

February 11th:  Team Covenant Monsterpocalypse Fun!

I was going to post this next week but since I already have a surplus of content (painting marathons forever) I figured I'd just spoil you folks and share.  Click HERE to see 16 paintings of giant monsters that haven't (for the most part) been seen on the site (or anywhere) yet.

 

February 10th:  Retro Fun.  (All these paintings were found "incomplete" while going through my old paintings (see Auction below for more info) so I said "screw it" and re-inked, re-painted, and generally made them suck less.)  Thanks for humoring a little bit of a flashback this week. 

Ghost Rider #320, "The Biology of Baron Samedi", Macbeth Theme Sketch 2008, Moonriver Cultist, Swamp Thing is Angry, Crocodile Warrior, "My Disease will Swallow Me"

Years and years ago I went to a Webcomic Convention.  This sketch, unpainted, was my summary of pretty much every conversation I had while there.  (Click HERE to see that particular London adventure.)

 

 

February 3rd:  Memoirs of a Cutsman and other Parables

I'm not the first guy to romanticize the adventures of Megaman, but weird doodles this week gave birth to the idea of Dr. Light creating a Vampire Robot that swallows the Essence of his victims.  Somehow, I think it's apt.  Next to the "Memoirs of a Cutsman" is a pile of Wax I dripped from candles onto a canvas, and then painted.  Terrible Scan, but I think the idea was fun.  Future experiments with candlewax guaranteed. 

 

Voltron OMG, Sandworms are from Mars, Bowser and his Ladyfriend, Minion Poppin', Mr. Clean judges you, and "USB Love"

 

More Monsterpocalypse released art.  The first one is actually for a guy's column, which revolves around playing a geeky game with your wife.  Check it out by clicking HERE.

 

 

January 27th:  Monsterpocalypse, a third of what I did.

There are some cool folks who run a fansite/strategy center/community/Online Store revolving around a little game I've mentioned too much lately called Monsterpocalypse that I did some art for.  The Gallery isn't up yet but since it was more to celebrate the game (read:  I did it for fun and not an amount of coin) I figured I'd spoil a bit of the surprise and post 5 of the 15 pieces that I did for them.  If you don't play...well, the pictures below are the "artsy" ones.  Mostly.

...and for those who wrote to me...I'm doing just fine these days.  Still having serious worth ethic/schedule problems, but nothing pills and booze can't cure.  I'm kidding.  Sort of.

 

January 13th:  And we're back.  Slight technical issues, sorry about that.  Articles soon, I swears! (still & again)

Beholder Babynapping, Twisted Scream, Spritely Child, "Pig Man from Motel Hell" (leftover from Halloween), Goat Hex, Beholder Spiral, Splatter Fishman #I really lost count by this point

 

Halloween from November to December:

What the hell is going on?  I'll tell you, mysterious internet person who for some reason keeps coming back.  Since I screwed up my Halloween Tradition last year and a bit this year, I decided I'd do my best to be Halloweenesque until Christmas.  It only seems fair, since the stupid Xmas decorations showed up in stores before Halloween had even come and gone.  So Click here to see the page that'll be updating daily.  I'm reorganizing my site and while I need to archive some things and make a few hubs (I've done enough D&D work it should be set aside like the Opera stuff) I thought it best to redirect for the holidays.  Enjoy!

 

Oh and forgive the mess.  I need a redesign something fierce.

 

 

 

October 30th:  While still busy, Secret Drizzt Project Revealed!

Click HERE to see my Drizzt/Salvatore stuff!

 

By the way, while Halloween is delayed due to Corporate work (fun stuff like the above), I will be doing your Costumes.   So if you have a costume and a photograph, by all means send it in. 

Don't know what I'm talking about?  Click HERE.

 

PS:  My Snake Says Hello.  (Double Posted for Posterity)

 

October 27th:  Halloween isn't here yet, time to show my work.

(An aside since I couldn't share this earlier)

I'm finishing up Corporate Project #35J right now but  artistic energy and weirdness makes me want to just share a weird commission I did a while back for The Chatty DM.  He's this weird guy who writes his own D&D adventures amongst other things and he came up with a goofy monster all on his own called the Zomboni.  I got stats for the beast, but basically it was "I want you to paint a combination of a Zombie, a Tank, and an ice rink's Zamboni."  I don't do commission work too often (or at the time) so I churned out this:

....So yeah, I went a little too far with my 1st draft sketch, because well, #1:  I paint fast and #2:  Still getting used to showing preliminary sketches to clients.  Too much creative freedom burned into me, I think.    It was too much Tank/Warhammer 40K and not enough Zombie, more or less.  So starting over, I did a couple of sketches thinking:  "If I were a Necromancer, how would I go about building a Tank?"  I mean really:  The kind of people who are going to magically bind souls into a warmachine with an undead theme aren't exactly going to have engineering degrees after all.  So the idea evolved.  Sort of.

  It was originally an idea that I thought would be too goofy/scary for the client's purposes, which only goes to show how little I know about the people who hire me to paint stuff.  Yeah, I have self-perception issues.  So the "Giant Rolling Pin" Zombie design was approved of, so I went about making something presentable. 

 

I'm pretty happy with the final design, though I wish I'd remembered to include the "random skulls" I had placed in the original smoke stack. 

As a total aside, while looking up how to spell Zamboni (which my spell check says is still wrong), I found out the Zomboni has shown up elsewhere.

 

I'm not a huge fan of "Tower Defense" games, but I might break my general avoidance of them to give "Plants versus Zombies" a go.  Seriously, it's Flowers against Zombie hordes.  Holy Crap, I look forward to the movie.

(Above images is the property of the Plants Vs. Zombie People, who rock.)

 

On the Halloween Front:  I did say I was going to Celebrate Halloween until Christmas, right?  That does mean that YES, I'll be going the extra mile and painting Monsters all through November once corporate crap settles down a bit.  And as a reminder, while I can't promise to do all of them (since I'm doing the backlog from last year's FAILED Halloween), I will be doing what is TRADITIONAL (CLICK HERE, NEW READER)..  Email me at Jared at Headinjurytheater.com and cross your fingers.  With some luck, they'll be done by December.

 

 

October 21st:  Rejected Art (For Obvious Reasons) for Secret Project 34B!

Fun times.  The "real" art (i.e. "Good") should be showing up on the Dungeons & Dragons Website any day now.  And now, I'll cross my fingers and hope rejected/extra art that I do for a project doesn't fall under the whole NDA thing.  (If it is, by all means let me know WotC, you know I love you!)

 

PS:  Drizzt does not have a pokemon in the form of a big black panther.  Just wanted to make that crystal shard clear.

 

October 14th:  Enjoy some Art, as Jared placates you with tales of ordinary madness.  Sort of. 

The real Halloween should be starting up soon, but corporate work pays my bills.  So, as previously stated, We'll be celebrating Halloween up until Christmas Day.  So no guilt!  Have some art, some of which is Halloween-esque.

 

Clown Propaganda, Witch Hat, Pumpkinhead Costume, Zombie Autopsy

Angel of Condoms (Don't ask), Ripped Painting Stares back at You, "Draw me a woman in 30 seconds"

 

 

October 8th:  Halloween is slightly delayed, but in exchange it may go on for a lot longer than intended.  Like, there's no Christmas this year. Check the Blog, if you're curious.  In the meantime, minimal new art.  My apologies, but not for long.

Umber Hulk riding a Land Shark for CriticalHits.com, Matt's Family as Zombies (a commission), and Spider Clown, combining 2 of Patrick's greatest fears into one creature.

 

Wish I could share more guys and girls, but Secret Project 23b got all my attention this past week and, while it's finished, it is SECRET Project 23b.

 

 

September 29th:  Halloween is coming.  Not sure what I'll do about it, but it's on its way.  In the meantime, it's been a good few days of random painting:

Boheme Prance, Primal Boheme, "The Boheme Painting I did as only one continuous line", and Boheme Beauty.

All of these were drunkenly painted after coming home at 5 A.M. from the Boheme Sauvage.  It's an awesome event where you can't get in unless you look like you're from the 1920's.  Absinthe, BlackJack, and the Charleston.  Way too much fun.

Remember that Dungeons & Dragons Art I did for the Legendary Evils set?  Here are 3 rejected designs.  Rejected by me, but hey, it happens.  (Foulspawn Seer & Mangler, for those playing at home.)

Weapon Brown Fan Art (Sort of a revival since the artist behind the character asked for a high quality scan of ANOTHER piece of fan art I did 5 years ago and Lord knows I'll never find it.) Hardcore cybernetic Charlie Brown makes me pretty happy somehow.  Click Here to check out Jason Yungbluth's stuff which may or not be safe for kids.  I can't be held responsible.

Wormtail, "Do you Blog?", World Dominating Super Bear, Scrap Paper 9/28/09 (Whenever I play with ink, I often wipe my brush on a piece of paper/cardboard to prevent too much ink from doing crazy things (unless I want crazy things to happen).  Sometimes I look over and think I can do something with those random lines and blotches.  Sometimes they turn into paintings, sometimes, like the one above, they turn into assorted chunks of madness.  With skulls in it.

 

September 24th:  Sara is a Good Friend of Mine.  (Not Code)

 

 

September 23rd:  Lots of Stuff, still way too busy.

Godzilla Fractal Guesswork, Creativity Crown, Alien Spazz, Drunken D&D BeholderWhore, Towel & Morning after

Liquid Sky 1st Impression, She Poses, KrankenBrot, Hurakan Ideal, Random InkWork

 

September 19th:  Universal Warm-Up

Funnily enough when you take a few weeks off from painting it's hard to get back to speed.  I'm still behind with everything but enjoy a healthy dose of early Halloween Prep.

Wolfman, Dracula, The Monster, Dr. Griffin (Invisible), The Creature

   

8th Wonder of the World, Im-Ho-Tep

 

 

September 10th:  Jet-Lag Madness, but I'm back!

Expect some fun stuff soon (including an illustrated "What I did on my Summer Vacation" piece) but in the meantime just enjoy some random Art...and by Random I mean my "I was on vacation and need to re-teach myself how to paint again" doodles.

 

Deva Rage, Hip Confusion, Vicious Curve #8, The Queen

 

He was a Good Friend of Mine, Harely and Joker Blots, 30 Seconds to Paint a Scream, Pink Sasquatch, Magnum Opus (from the "Design a Guitar Hero RPG" contest)

 

Oh and long story short:  There will be more Dungeons and Dragons stuff from me in the near future.  I can't talk about it, but many of you can guess what I'll be work on.  Here's another hint for another project:  I had to read R.A. Salvatore's The Pirate King as research.  Whatever could I be painting?

 

And here's a teaser for the next mini-article.  Whatever could be wrong with a book about the X-men that I found at the dollar store? 

Everything.  (Image is the property of Marvel and their illustrious Dollar Store Children's Book Division.  Holy Crap I'm not joking.)

 

One more thing:  Remember the Jerks in the Back Row?  Scroll down on this page to download me making terrible jokes to the Dark Crystal.  Click HERE and accept my apology in advance.  I also helped out with the Mortuary review, but that's more a pseudo-intellectual debate held at 2 in the morning, so, well, you were warned.

 

...

..

and so time passed

...

..

.

 

August WHATEVER:  I'm on Vacation, Boys and Girls!

..and I won't be back until September.  So enjoy this art, keep an eye on the Blog (I'll be posting Art and other adventures, including the whole "What Happens at GenCon Stays at GenCon" thing.) for...stuff.  Also keep your eyes on the Dungeons & Dragons website all month...they'll be previewing more of my stuff, in places like HERE.  Exciting, Yes?  Have some art.  In a few hours I have to hope on a plane and enjoy the culture shock that is being in a country that speaks my language once again. 

Unbroken, "Ode to Fell Taint", Thrall, Mindflayer Lurker, Dumbleboresintoyourskull, Grell Cutie

The Coven is Betrayed, Reality Assertions, Chupie, Chairy is Scary, Reptile Hatchling, Art Challenge:  Schnappi in 2 minutes? (Failed...as running out of time I just wrote how long it took to paint.)

 

Remember how I said my art was EVERYWHERE last week?  Those 3 pictures above are for a Children's Library in Delaware.  I'm EVERYWHERE.  For real.

 

Oh and don't forget that I'll be hanging with the Jerks in the Back Row while I'm away.  What was that movie we'll be reviewing?  I forget:

Oh right.  That's the one.

 

 

August 5th:  My Art is Everywhere.  Seriously.

 

Not that I'm complaining.  New Stuff of mine is starting to appear over on the Official Dungeons & Dragons website...I did a bunch of cartoons relating to their new Legendary Evils Miniatures line and, well, it's awesome.  I'll be going on vacation next week for a month so even though I'll be away, you can still go THERE and keep an eye open for my Legendary Evils Cartoons.  They're only previewed a few but you can find them by clicking HERE.

 

Secondy, remember the Goblin Stompers?

 

 

I won (2nd place) in RYZ's "Sell Your Sole" contest and now all the people who have been bugging me to learn how to make shoes in case I don't win can breathe a collective sigh of relief.  Pre-Orders are already being taken.  Man, they work fast!  Click Here to upgrade your Foot Slot Item.

 

Thirdly (and yeah, it's all D&D Related, get over it), I did some art for the Dungeons & Dragons Miniatures Guild.  It's pretty geeky but basically the product isn't being supported but there's a huge fanbase (which includes me so I dare say the fanbase is Epic) and they needed some stuff to help strum up support/give folks stuff to wear.  So click here to support the DDM Movement and look below for some of the Art they used or didn't use.

 

Finally, enjoy some Art that has nothing to do with anything:

Umber Hulk Rage (Fine, it's a D&D thing), Demon Scribble, Black Box, Blue Duckling:  Adorable (see its older sisters below)

 

August 3rd:  Not a Wednesday?  Have some Birds:

Blue Phoenix: Symbolism, Blue Phoenix: Rise, Blue Phoenix: Acrylic Burn

Grim Orthodontistry

 

July 29th:  Madness!  (Getting Ready for GenCon!)

Merchant Guard, Skeleton in Fez, Genasi Paladin in Ink, Jerks in the Backrow (See the LINKS page)

 

July 22nd:  A few random stuff...I'm trying to finish that Sleepaway Camp article in time for [edit]!

BonerDragon (Or Zombie White Dragon, depending on what game you play), Oni Mage, Goblin Hooters (for an event some folks are hosting where they play Dungeons & Dragons at Hooters), Bitter Martian (which, if you recognize this particular flavor of Martian I salute you.  If you needed more than the hint on today's main page, then you're just not cool enough.), and finally:  Drizzt is an Emo Meathead.

 

July 15th:  You know what the downside to Non-Disclosure Agreements is?  You're really busy but you can't tell anyone what you're working on.  Enjoy some older art that I never got around to posting:

Wonderous Squirrel, Skeptical Knight, "Garfield's Girl", "A doodle found and have NO idea when I painted it"

...and more D&D Miniatures paintings.  They're kind of requests and one will be a Prize at GenCon this year.

 

Also:

 

Voting on the D&D Shoe Contest Starts today!  You don't have to vote for me but you really should vote.  (I mean, you can vote for me if you want.  I mean, I won't stop you.)  Click Here (and maybe vote for me.  It's up to you.)

 

 

 

July 8th:  Jared is working on a Secret Project that he can't legally tell you about but you'll probably know about in a month or so, if all goes according to plan.  As such, enjoy some doodles I turned into a shoe for a contest:

 

Check out the Virtual Design (and look "Inside" the shoe for a special surprise) by clicking HERE.  (Voting for that starts July 15th...I'll remind you about the contest.  Not that you...should...you know, vote for me or anything.)

 

These are a couple of the pieces I used for the shoe...two of which got cut from the final design.  Fun contest and a fun company with lots of great design competitions.  I may have to keep up to date with their site.  Fun stuff.

 

Sorry for such a light update this week.  On the upside I'm getting paid for being artsy and funny, which is a combination that hasn't happened too many times before now.  When the project comes out, I'll throw some confetti in the air and we'll pretend it's a parade.

 

 

July 1st:  Crazy busy so here's some stuff you might have seen already but I haven't uploaded it yet.

 

Remember my Dungeons and Dragons Miniatures Paintings?  For kicks I did a few more for the new Handbook Heroes minis series.

Human Paladin

 

Shifter (Werewolf) Ranger

Yes, those are the right jersey numbers from Teen Wolf.  I know, I suck.

 

Warforged Artificer

 

Oh and here's a picture of a Flumph:

 

If you read the blog then you've already seen these but I thought for the sake of hilarity I'd have these saved indefinitely here.  They're from the "Alphabet of Terrible Things Digg.com Users have said about Jared" that I'll never complete because, well, it's not worth it.  Check out the Blog for more info...it's pretty funny to read a stranger wants me to get AIDS.   Awesome.

Seriously though, I'm over it guys.  Thanks for the kind words.

 

 

June 24th, 2009:  Still Working on Secret stuff (that I'll link to when I legally can share).  In the meantime, please enjoy some Random things:

Neon Cat with Neon Mouse (Canvas), Smiling Cat (Canvas) [Sold], Ambivalence Cat, Fetal Skeleton (Not a Cat)

WitchHazel, Here Comes the Rain Again (Again), Strung, C.H.U.D. Surfing (Kingdom of Loathing)

 

June 17th, 2009:  I'm busy illustrating 2 card games and other such projects...for money!   Enjoy this other stuff  (It's all Kingdom of Loathing Requests...next week I'll preview my paintings of the Zomboni, something I did for someone's fun D&D Module)

Sitar Solarity, Pumpkin Woe, Chocobo Pride, Bete Whipped, "Barbarian Infiltrating Gnomes" (With Staple)

Bear Dreams of Banana Moon, Ninjawarp, I wield 3 Katanas

Excited Lime, "Ed the Undying" riding a Vine Gar (I don't get it either)

 

June 10th, 2009:  Spoony, Gygax, Kingdom of Loathing:  No Theme what-so-ever!

Bayou Billy (For the Spoony Experiment, Gary Gygax Needs Brains, Primary Alien, Kingdom of Loathing Finale

 

KoL Don't ask, Comic Jam Wiley Castle, The Crimbomination Card (Click Here for original)

5 Minute Doodle to Lilith (and Child), My Pet does Illicit Things in Back Alleys

June 3rd, 2009: Art!  Lots of Commissions, Requests, and Etc!

Two-Face, Erik of Eyeskream Runs Away, Thomas the Trauma Engine, Hotrod Beholden, Money Train Doodle

Ben 10 Echo Echo, Demonic Cloak, Gygax the Cat Monster, Cy-Boar Tribute #3,210

 

 

May 27th, 2009:  Secret Art projects and what-not means that I don't have as much Art for you today as I should (I did have a new article and comic up, which should count for something).

Bliss!, Xen'Drik Quest

 

May 20th, 2009:   Dungeon & Dragons Minis...I'm a dork.

 

Fun Fact:  Apparently Antidepressants make it so that I can't paint marathon style.  Two weeks after going cold turkey, I did the first Art Crash in the past 8 months.  Sadly, it's about Dungeons and Dragons.  Oh, how the mighty have fallen.  Enjoy!

 

May 15th, 2009:  D&D Geek Stuff.  All will be explained soon.

Aboleth Bubbles, Unicorns can be Scary, Nightmare Troll, Arbalester

Drow X thing, Berbalang a Boomabang, Banshrae Jazz Hands

 

Evil Genius Cover Art

 

May 6th, 2009:  Tweet, Bitches!

Tweet, Ever-Grinning Bear, Mantelope, Guard of Archer, WTF #34, Midnight Judgement.

 

April 23td, 2009:  Finally Moved into the new apartment, life is good.

Pope Ratzinger, Me and My charming Beholder Hat, Unpleasant Alchemist, My Ritualistic Hat

Tokyo Zombie Shuffle, Gutter Viking Ink, Costume Design for Death God Puppet

 

April 3rd, 2009:  Does anyone (who likes my stuff) know anything about web design?  I smell a rebirth.  In related news, "soon" is a very subjective thing.

"Why yes, Jared's Paintings are for Sale and suitable for framing."  (Thanks to Lutz for sending me a picture of what this looks like on his wall.  That and for, you know, buying Art from me.  That's cool too.)

Oh and the real name of this one is "The Joy of Spring".

Secret Excerpt from McCane's "The Bar", Gothic Knight, The King, No-Jawbone Da Clown, Smiley Cosmology

 

March 11th, 2009:  More Soon...

Bunyip, Feather in WidowWood, Skyrider Yellow

 

March 4th, 2009:  Fun with Numbers....um.  Not really.

CatDog is a thing of Horror, Lonely Dryad, SplatterWar, Bunny Burp

 

What's he Smoking?, Full Moon Feline, Mr. Sandman

 

February 19th, 2009:  Secret Prizes for those who know the secret of Hidden Link Cove.

 Fishman (Canvas), Ambitious Wave (Canvas), Vogue Lictor, TankGirl, RazorBack, Jim's Recovery

Count Chocula Rotoscope, Car Crash, Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds

 

February 11th, 2009:  The week where I suck at naming paintings.

Hellboy in Ink, Greenfire Grin, Pink Ink Singer

Red Samurai on Cardboard (creative name, right?), Childhood Comic Flashback, 60-second Hedgehog,  "A train".

 

February 5th, 2009:  Updating again so soon?  Madness!

Sandpaper Implication, Sandpaper Pharoah (I'm terrible at names for paintings that involve me painting on sandpaper), Scribbles the Clown, Pharoah Two-Step

 

A certain someone asked me to paint up "memory cards" for her new diet.  I did these in about 5 minutes, but a couple folks thought they were cute enough to share.  Oh and for those playing at home, "memory cards" is a code word for "Brainwashing mechanism".  But you know me...I don't judge.  Enjoy:

(Bonus points if you get the Bad Movie reference hidden upon one of them.)

 

 

January 2009:  Holy Crap, Jared Had a Mental Breakdown.

If you read this website, you should know he's got issues.

Enjoy some Art!

Dynamic Shade of Blue, Nuckelavee, Idea Angler, A Mermaid

P is for Phallic (new alphabet coming), Crispin Glover, Wyatt I have Missed You, Homeless Man in Puddle of his Own Making.

 

Christmas Day, 2008:

 

I've been doing a bunch of canvas work while the computer was broken and I wasn't updating.  Enjoy some "giant" paintings, relatively speaking.

Maze Mistress (Acrylic) & close-up, Smirking Cat (acrylic/watercolour), Fiji Mermaid (acrylic/ink), Dangerfly (heavy layered acrylic).

 

These are something I was forced at gunpoint to paint as gifts for family and friends.  They have no clever titles beyond the animal that's painted onto them. 

Black Pete or the Easter Bunny lurking (ink/watercolour)

 

 

Fun with Roleplaying Games:  Rats (in German!)

 

Click HERE if you've never heard of the coolest role-playing game not yet translated into English.

 

 

Looking for more paintings?  Like, thousands of them?

 

Check the Archives:

 

 

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All material is copyrighted 2008 by well, me. Jared von Hindman.  If you want to steal something, let me know.  Otherwise I'll crash a plane into your house. :)